Crash Into Me
by Dee1431
Summary: What happens when Marissa moves to Rodanthe, North Carolina? Will she be disappointed by the town that seems to hold no promise or will she disappear into love for some unexpected people?
1. Chapter 1

Marissa Cooper slowly strolled throughout the stunning beach house that not only captivated her attention from the moment she pulled into the driveway but had everything that could ever be needed in a home. The will had been finalized; the will that which stated Marissa is entitled to all the beach front property located in Rodanthe, North Carolina as soon as she turned twenty five years of age.

She glanced around the beautiful house, _more like a mansion,_ she said in her head as she looked down at the papers retaining all the facts about the house, there were six bedrooms, five bathrooms, private pool with Jacuzzi, private walkway to a secluded beach and large window the size of the wall overlooking the beach right in the kitchen. Of course the place needed work, _of course,_ she said sarcastically to herself, she was brand new to the area and had no idea who to call. Considering the house hadn't been inhabited for at least fifteen years, it needed a great amount of work done.

New pipes for all the bathrooms, painting of all the walls in the entire house, painting of the exterior walls of the house, the roof needed patching up, the back staircase and porch had serious termite damage…blah blah blah! Marissa threw the paper to the floor without finishing the ongoing list of problems and looked around at the house; it was gorgeous, very dusty with a lot of cobwebs, but still gorgeous.

As soon as she had turned twenty five she received the news from her families lawyer that she would be receiving the property but her response was quite diverse from what other's would be. She despised the idea, why would she, Marissa Cooper, notorious party girl and well known event planner of the Boston Chamber of Commerce want an old and worn out house in North Carolina? North Carolina of all places, why couldn't the property have been in the Hamptons? But no, it had to be a place that was of absolute no interest to her whatsoever.

But as soon as she saw the house, all the negative contemplations fled her mind and she was replaced with angst to get started and to fix up the house. It would be perfect for her just to settle, something she had secretly hoped she'd never want to do, but found that the concept seemed ideal to her newly adjusted state of mind. She'd never needed to work anyways, with her family's wealth and popularity she would never have to lift a finger, but found it boring to sit home every day, but her family's reputation was definitely the key to her instant job in the Chamber of Commerce. She of course never spoke to her family now; if they could be called a family…it was more of a link of cell phones that went either to a secretary or to an answering machine.

She had already planned out her entire idea; she would sell her million dollar Beacon Hill home and move to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, a place that seemed to be perfect at that moment in her life that had just started to wine down. She opened the zipper on her new Chanel messenger bag and pulled out her cell phone, found the number she was searching for and hit send as she placed the phone next to her ear. "Hello, James Cooper's office, how may I help you?" a woman answered the phone. "Hello Susie, this is Marissa" Marissa said into the phone with a small smile. "Oh hello Marissa, how are you sweetie?" Susie answered her. The situation was ironic to Marissa that she had a better relationship with her fathers secretary than she had with her father, his secretary knew more about his daughter than he ever would because he never gave her the one thing she secretly craved and would have devoured if she had only gotten the opportunity: time.

"I'm great, how are you?" Marissa asked nicely, Susie lightly laughed, "well your father has had such a hectic day so I'm a little stressed" Susie said. Marissa just quietly sighed, not knowing what to say about her father, a man she didn't recall from her childhood. "Well I was just entitled to the Outer Banks home and I need to get someone in my father's office to call the city hall or something like that so they can work on the house" Marissa said. "Wow, the Outer Banks estate is beautiful…ummm who could we call…well I'll definitely do that sweetie and I'll give them your number so they can reach you. I promise you'll be called by them in the next few days" Susie said. "That's great, thanks Susie" Marissa said as she exchanged their goodbyes and hung up their phones.

Marissa stared throughout the home and smiled simply, this had been what she was looking for. She needed this more than anything and maybe other things would come out of this? A job, romance, friends…it was bound to happen and maybe this place could be perfect for her. She brought the Starbucks iced macchiato to her lips and felt things were starting to come together…


	2. Chapter 2

The tides had changed, the sun and moon had risen and fallen…a week had passed and the progress on the house was already noticeable. Her fathers company had gotten in touch with only the most efficient companies and had started working immediately on the house. The property had been covered with shirtless men for the past six days and Marissa found herself feeling more awkward every day. They had moved quickly and already re-painted the house the white that she had wanted to keep it, something about the color white made it more peaceful for her to stay.

They were now working on about every room in the house, going over the limit for the wealthy East coast beauty. She had been staying in an Inn down the road, making calls and starting the progress of selling her home, resigning from her job, and saying goodbye to Bean Town permanently but not without planning one last weekend to get all her belongings and move herself to the beaches of Rodanthe. They told her the house would not be down for another month or so, the roofing was the only thing that caused the delay in time. From the last horrific hurricane that tore its way down the South, so many roofs had been damaged and needed repairing.

_And don't you think  
I wish I could stay.  
Your lips give you away.   
I can hear it, the jet engine  
Through the center of the storm   
And I'm thinking I'd  
Prefer not to be rescued.._

She was hardly watching the TV, only keeping it on to make sure the silence of the hotel room didn't eat her whole. She felt as if she had nothing, while she was happy to be settling down she felt as if she was the only human existing on the planet. Marissa stared at the screen and let thoughts run throughout her mind, memories of her childhood with her parents, the accident that had brought her childhood to a screeching halt. _The accident_, it still brought chills to her spine…her mother was on her way to the grocery store to buy some wine, something so simple that it never could have seemed treacherous, but it was heavily raining outside…the lightning lit up the sky and caused her to squint. Marissa remembered every single detail of that night, it happened over fifteen years ago but it was still fresh in her mind…like a wound that never healed itself…it just wouldn't go away entirely.

She stood by the window and watched the lightning in the sky, seeing her mothers tail lights from the car pull out of the driveway of the huge house on their estate in Houston, Texas. She heard the loud thunder crash and started counting the seconds until the next round of lightning and thunder would occur. Her dad stepped into her bedroom and she turned from her window and jumped into her bed as quick as she could…but it was too late, she was caught. "Ahhh Miss Marissa, not in bed I see? Well you know what that means" her father said as he got closer and she tried to hide under her blankets, the smile of happiness beaming across her face. The blanket was quickly pulled back and her father started tickling her, causing her to burst out in laughter, "the tickle monster will get you" her father said loudly in a scary voice. She laughed loudly, "daaa-dddy that tickles" she said as she laughed.

_When it's quiet, does she hear me?  
The jet is sent to the  
Center of the storm,  
And I'm thinking I  
Prefer not to be rescued…_

Her father pulled back and smiled at her, she settled back down in the comfort of her bed. "How much time?" her father asked with a large smile, Marissa giggled "seven seconds the first time then 9 seconds the second time" she answered. It was a tradition; whenever a thunder and lightning storm would come they would count the seconds between each thunder and lightning that would strike. It was the only thing she enjoyed about rainy days, but since this time the rain had started after her bedtime, she had to sneak to the window and happened to see her mom leave. "Where'd momma go?" Marissa asked, Jimmy started to tuck her in, "just to the store to get some wine for your mother and me so we can celebrate our anniversary" Jimmy said. "Oh…" she said and it became quiet for a few seconds, "daddy?" Marissa asked. "What's up sweetie?" Jimmy asked, Marissa turned her body to the book next to her on the night stand and picked it up, "I know I'm already ten years old but can you read a story to me like when I was younger" Marissa asked sleepily. Jimmy nodded and kissed her forehead, "of course kiddo…what book is this?" Jimmy asked as he turned to book around and look at the title, "Goodnight Moon…we haven't read this one in a while" he said as he started to read the book.

As he read, Marissa slowly slipped into dreamland…a place of her infinite possibilities and fantasies…thinking that everything in her world was perfect. But she was woken in the morning being told horrible news about her mother; she had gotten into a car accident on her way to the store last night and had died on the way to the hospital. Ever since that day, her whole life had changed…her father changed, _she_ changed. Her father stopped talking entirely, not just to her but to everyone. He started working at his Oil Company non-stop, never finding time to come home and see his daughter. From there on, Marissa had raised herself…never allowing herself to become close to people like she did her parents…she could never deal with the pain she had already gone through.

_Oh, I can feel her, she's dying  
Just to keep me cool…  
I'm finally numb, so please  
Don't get me rescued... rescued..._

Marissa felt tears dripping down her cheeks as she came out of her day dreaming and felt every emotion hit her hard in that moment. She was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone and she quickly picked it up from the night stand, wiping her cheeks in the process. She glanced confusedly at the call ID, not recognizing the number, but answered it anyways. "Hello" she answered with a sniffle, "is this Miss Cooper?" a male voice asked tentatively. Marissa brought the phone to her other ear, "yes it is, who is this?" Marissa asked. "This is Ryan Atwood, I was hired to do the roof of your home" he said. "Oh hello Mr. Atwood, how can I help you?" Marissa asked. "I just wanted to reassure you that I didn't forget about your house and wanted to inform you that I'll be done with my previous engagements by the end of this week and should be ready to work on your home by the beginning of next week…is that alright?" he asked. "That's great…don't worry about it…I understand if you're busy…I'm in no rush anyways" Marissa answered simply. Ryan just sighed, "oh okay thank you…well I just wanted to let you know…I'll see you next week Miss Cooper" he said, "alright...thank you" she said before clicking off her phone and placing it on her night stand.

_And it's unclear  
But this may be my last song.  
Oh, I, I can tell   
She's raising hell to give to me,  
But she got me once,  
So please don't get me rescued…_

Marissa lay back down against her pillows and felt sleep starting to wash over her, but still couldn't get that last image of her mom out of her head. Her mom had come into her bedroom to tuck her into bed and kiss her goodnight but it didn't feel special to her… it never occurred that this kiss could be the last kiss she would ever receive from her mother. Marissa felt a gut wrenching sob escape her lips as she started to cry, her mother had spoke so clearly and beautifully to her. Marissa could still recall so many things, her sweet scent, her delicate beauty, her angelic voice…it was everything she could have ever wanted in a mother. "Sweet dreams bubble bee" her mother had said as she kissed her forehead softly, she could recall the way she spoke when she called her by her nickname. Bubble bee had been the very unique nickname given to her after she had gone through a stage of only wearing yellow and black clothes, trying to look like a bubble bee. Julie had hung onto that name for many years after the stage had taken place and no one had called her by that name since that very tragic night, about fifteen years ago. At some times in her life, she wished she couldn't remember…that way maybe the pain would disappear…but it never did.

Marissa felt the wrenching sobs rock her into a deep sleep, something she had been without for so long…her life after leaving Texas when she was eighteen had been everything but serene. It consisted of party after party, meeting celebrities, having one night stands, dancing on bars…anything that seemed pleasurable at the moment. She left for Boston because she didn't want the busy city of New York City…she wanted something a little less crowded. But while she was having her so called "fun" she still felt every emotion from that fateful night, she carried them with her everywhere she went and they never faded, she had always hoped that she would meet someone that would help her with her pain but no one ever came…and she had just about given up hope on waiting on someone to come…but maybe hope wasn't quite lost?

_Oh, say you'll miss me one last time,  
I'll be strong, but whatever you do   
Please don't get me rescued...  
Cause I'm feeling like  
I might need to be near you  
And I feel alright, so please  
Don't get me rescued..._


	3. Chapter 3

The dreary sky of Boston dramatically changed as the sun broke through the clouds on the warm day of March. It was nearly April and the New England city was shedding its winter layers and basking in the warm sun. It was a day to appreciate and smile for as a sign that spring and summer were coming once again.

Days like these are what Marissa would miss most when she left Boston, days that gave smiles to everyone in the city. Days that truly were beautiful in all ways, days that were just perfect. Marissa sighed as she packed up the last of her clothes in her oversized bedroom. She taped the last box and set it on the floor with the many others. She heard the doorbell ring and knew that it was the movers; she made her way to the door and let them in, instructing them as what to take, which was everything.

As the movers loaded the truck with all of Marissa's possessions, Marissa sat in the backyard on the swing that had been there when she had moved in. She looked around and felt as if one part of her life was ending; a very large part of herself that she never thought would go away.

Boston had been her escape; it had been her escape from her disturbing childhood to a new party life full of opportunities and adventure. She had moved here as soon as she turned eighteen and instantly fell in love with the city, while she attended Boston University. She always was a smart girl, loving to learn and read, but knew that it wasn't just her smarts that got her into Boston University, it was her family name. The same thing that had gotten her most of the things she had attained over the years.

She had experienced so much through the years of college, ups and downs. While there were more downs than ups, she knew that's the way life would always be…it would be a constant dissatisfaction to her already disappointed mind. While dating many men in college during her freshman, sophomore, and junior year, she never formed a close relationship with any of those men…never wanting to get attached. Every single one of them had come and gone the same way, wanting one thing only and once they had what they wanted, they left…there were only a couple, maybe two, who fought for her.

But for those men who did fight for her, they were the hardest to forget… she could still recall things that they had said to her during that senior year of college. The first one, Alex, was a kind and smart man, with hazel eyes, dark brown hair and a slightly dark complexion; he was perfect, just not for Marissa. They dated for a month and a half, but their relationship ended without drama. She still remembered every single word he had said to her that night, the last night they were together. He looked tiredly at her, almost as if this had been a long battle that he had lost, "I'm sorry Marissa…I just can't do this with you anymore…I want a relationship and I want to love someone." He stared intently into her eyes, making sure that she knew that he tried. "You just won't let me; you won't let me love you…almost as if you don't think you deserve it. But you do. You do deserve someone to love you, I'm just not the person you're looking for" Alex said before standing up off the bed and leaving the empty spot next to her. He left the room silently while she absorbed everything he had said moments before and started to cry, knowing that everything he had said was right.

After Alex, things had down for a while, knowing that he had been right with everything he had said about her. She was back in the dating game after a couple months. The second man was Owen, a beautiful light blonde with dark green eyes and light skin. He was also very smart, sensitive and had an ear for magnificent music by symphonies and orchestras. He had stayed a little longer than usual, about two months, 6 months after Alex, during the summer after they had graduated.

He looked at her with these familiar eyes, eyes she had seen with Alex. Those tired eyes that had lost all their energy from losing a battle that they didn't know would never be won by them. But his eyes had a tad of something else; it was a line between sympathy and pity. "I don't know what you're looking for Marissa…I know you're a great girl…that first day I met you, I knew you were great…but you just keep pushing me away." He let out a deep sigh before looking back up at her, "and then I realized that this has nothing to do with me, you obviously have walls that you can't take down for me Marissa and I don't know why…but those walls will always be there." Marissa just nodded, knowing he was right. "I hope that someday you'll find someone who can take down those walls…because you deserve it. Good luck Marissa, I hope you find whatever you're looking for" Owen said softly before kissing her cheek lightly, grabbing his jacket and leaving the house. Marissa slowly held onto herself as she slid down the wall of her bedroom and started shedding soft tears, soft tears of defeat. Knowing that she would never win, she'd never be able to get close…but wishing that she could.

They had both said such similar things, and they were both completely right. She had always thought that after her mother died and her father stopped paying caring for her that she had relationship problems, but after Alex and Owen she was positive about her relationship issues. After what had happened, she had given up working out relationships with men, knowing it wasn't worth it to even try. She spent her time working on her resume, trying to get a good job that would help take her mind off it. And that's how she ended up at Boston Chamber of Commerce.

After getting situated at her job, she met some friends and became the party girl she knew was dieing to get out. She went to clubs, danced all night, and had one night stands with sexy men, while still working five days a week. She lived a double life that she secretly wished would end for her own sanity. She went through her life as a robot, not having any emotions or feelings towards anyone…knowing that she couldn't handle becoming attached.

But on her 25th birthday, it all changed when she was sent the will that her parents had signed when she was only eight years old as a surprise present for her 25th birthday. The will was signed by Julie and James Cooper; they signed the will early in her childhood that way if anything happened to either of them, the beach house would stay in the family, considering that the house had been passed down through many generations of Coopers. Marissa hadn't been aware that they owned a house in the Outer Banks, never hearing a word about the home in her childhood. They had owned multiples homes, one in their hometown of Houston, Texas. One on the beaches of Malibu, California, the other was a penthouse in New York City, and lastly a mansion in the Colorado Mountains.

Sadly for her, she had said goodbye to some of these homes after her mother died. Her father never took her to stay in any of the houses anymore, finding that the houses reminded him too much of Julie. He had sold the penthouse in New York City and the beach house in Malibu first, knowing that they were Julie's favorite places to stay during their vacations. He had kept the mountain cabin for business, but hardly ever used it and rented it out as much as possible.

Marissa was interrupted from her day dreaming as the mover told her that everything was in the truck and they were going to be leaving. She just nodded and they were on their way, Marissa slowly stood up and walked into the home. She placed the key on the counter in the kitchen and walked out of the kitchen into the large living room with the front door. She made her way to the front door and picked her purse and luggage she would taking with her that day to Rodanthe. She turned around and looked around once last time at the house, feeling that this was a good idea. It was time to say goodbye to her bad past in Boston. She took one last glance and sighed; she grabbed her things and left the house. _Saying goodbye to one large part of herself in the process…_


	4. Chapter 4

The moon had risen far up over the city of Rodanthe, the waves crashed against the shore, making magical music to be heard all over. The little house on the beach had a front row for the concert of waves, hearing every wave…hearing the small waves then the large waves. Hearing the sounds of people coming to go to the beautiful beach to sun tan, go swimming or just have fun, was its main concert.

The house was small, not tiny, but small, with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a large kitchen, living room, and a porch out back that went right out onto the sand. It was a light color blue on the exterior and had large windows that overlooked the beautiful beach. There was also a large driveway where a black Navigator sat. The house was a perfect beach house, a perfect place for someone living in Rodanthe, alone.

Ryan slowly made his way out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist. He left the bathroom and let himself dry off as he picked out his clothes to wear that night. Simply settling on a pair of grey sweatpants and a wifebeater, he felt comfortable for the first time all day. He left the bedroom and went to his living room where his flat screen waited to be turned on, his cold Bud Light waited to be opened and steak and cheese sub he had just bought on the way waited to be eaten.

He got comfortable on the massive couch in the living room and started to eat his dinner. He turned on his TV and flipped to a baseball game on ESPN, seeing a pre-season game make its way into the sixth inning. He had worked a long day, 7am – 8 pm, working on roofs all day long in the hot sun. Of course he had workers to help him but the worked seemed to be everlasting on this particular day. He partially owned the company with two other men, Roger and Brian, his two friends. And they had 5 workers underneath them; they were a dependable roofing company in Rodanthe. They were the _only_ roofing company in Rodanthe so they were used quite frequently in homes. The three owners all had different jobs; Brian who was far older then them, managed the money of the company considering that it was his business that he had started, while Roger and Ryan stilled worked on roofs with the other men since they were still young enough to handle the manual labor.

The company had come about after he and Roger graduated from University of North Carolina. They had just moved back home, wondering what they could do with their degrees but couldn't figure out what to do. But there problems were solved when Brian proposed an idea to them, they start working for him and if they worked hard enough, they would become partners considering he was having problems getting his company started. And in time, that did happen and they became a very good business in Rodanthe. It was the perfect job for Ryan; he got to stay in his home town and made more than enough money for himself. Considering that Ryan had no one to pay for except himself, his salary was great.

His dad wasn't around anymore, after his parents divorced when he was fifteen, his dad picked up and left, hoping to escape his past and make a new functional future. But his mother, Laura, stayed and continued working as a nurse at the local hospital to support her and Ryan. Ryan had always done well in school and never usually got into trouble, except for after his dad left. Nevertheless, his mom lived on the other side of town, he still saw her as much as he could. Overall, he had mostly a normal childhood…divorce didn't occur all the time when he was young, but it still did occur sometimes, so he didn't feel alone when his parents signed the papers. He was grateful to his parents; mostly his mom for what she did for him after his dad had left. Even though he did not see his father after he had left, he did send Ryan a check with money for college.

Other than that, he had no girlfriend, wife or anyone else like that to take care of. He had hoped to meet someone in his town but most of the girls were married, single but too young or too old, or just plain out crazy. Unfortunately, he could not find someone who he could relate to in his town. While being very good looking, nice, and not insane in any way, he was one of the only eligible bachelors in the whole town of Rodanthe, which caused all women of all ages to throw themselves at him. While he would still go on dates with woman who appealed to him, they always ended up being wrong for him, while his mother said he was being too picky, he knew she was wrong. He decided that he would not drive himself crazy looking for someone. He would wait till what he was looking for came to him.

He felt himself growing tired and placed the empty plastic container of the coffee table in front of him next to his empty beer bottle. He looked at his watch that read a little after 9:30 and decided that he would just go to bed. He had another long day of work before the upcoming weekend, and in that weekend he would rest up before starting his work on Monday. The work on Monday seemed to be the most important work coming up for the company, not just because of what house it was but because of the financial stress they would be relieving with their hefty paycheck. From what he had heard, he was working on one of the most expensive homes in town. The person residing in the home was a new woman to the town, Marissa Cooper, daughter of the millionaire Oil company owner James Cooper, had just moved into the home that had been owned by her parents.

He had talked to her before on the phone and she seemed nice, but the comments he had heard from some of the men who were already working on the house were enough to make him start working and never want to end. He had heard that she was beautiful, probably one of the most beautiful girls in the entire city. They never gave features about her looks, but knew that the features must have been indescribable. But the men also said that while she was nice, she didn't seem interested in any of them whatsoever. While most women would have basked in the twenty or so shirtless men, she merely just looked away and booked a room down the street at the Inn.

But while thinking of all of this as he got into his bed, he knew it would be the most beneficial business their company would engage in the entire year. He turned off his light and felt his eye lids go heavy as he dozed off into a deep sleep…

The sun beat down hard on the beautiful spring day; it was only March and was already 78 degrees. Ryan felt the sweat roll down his strong back as he worked on the roof with three other men. He heard his name being called and listened more closely, "Ryan" he heard being called from Brian. "What's up?" he yelled back, "can you come down here for a second?" Brian asked as Ryan started to move towards the latter. "Yeah sure… I'm coming down" he said as he started to move down the ladder.

As he came down onto the ground, Brian met him next to the ladder. "What's up Brian?" Ryan asked as he wiped the sweat off his brow, "I was going to send Roger over to Marissa Cooper's house, but since he went away for the weekend with his family, I need you to fill in for him" Brian said as he looked over the clipboard in his hands. "Alright, that's fine. But why do we need to go to house anyways?" Ryan asked as Brian started to fill a paper out. "I need you to go check out what the problems are with the roof so we know what to bring, it's a big job so we need to be prepared. And you're good with people; I want you to talk to her, just let her know that we'll do a great job and stuff" Brian said.

Ryan just nodded his head, "okay…when am I going?" he asked. Brian took the paper off his clipboard, "tomorrow…preferably at night…she said she was going outta' town until tomorrow afternoon…so go around six or seven so she has a chance to get home and unpack and things like that" he said. Ryan just nodded his head and looked down as Brian handed him a paper, "take this and just check off everything that's wrong with the roof… it might have a lot of damage from the hurricane but from what I've read on the stats of the house the roof was repaired a couple years ago, James Cooper and his wife assigned someone to go in there every couple years or so to make sure there was no bad damages to the house" Brian said. Ryan just nodded his head, "okay…that's fine…should I call you afterwards to let you know or just call you Sunday?" Ryan asked.

Brian shrugged, "either is fine…I'll see you Monday morning…you can leave early today if you want Ryan, you do own part of the company and these guys are almost done" Brian said with a smile. Ryan just smiled back, "yeah I know…I'll just stay for another half hour, then go…just to make sure nothing goes wrong" Ryan said. Brian tapped Ryan's side with his clipboard lightly, "and that's why you're a partner Ryan…I can depend on you" Brian said with a wide smile before turning around and walking back towards his car. "Thanks Brian" Ryan said for the compliment and turned towards the ladder and brought himself back up.

As Ryan finished working, he came down the ladder and realized his day was all over. He could go home early, maybe even go and see his mom. As he went to his car, he realized another thing; he had to go meet Marissa Cooper…which would be very interesting.

Ryan opened the front door to his mother's house and stepped inside, "Mom?" Ryan called out into the house. The house was practically the same house as his except hers wasn't on the beach. "In here sweetie" his mother called out from the kitchen. His mother stood up from the table and gave Ryan a hug as he stepped into the kitchen. She was hardly old, only being 51, making her 25 when she had Ryan. She had dark brown hair, with a few noticeable gray hairs that the dark brown hair dye couldn't cover; she had a nice complexion with large hazel eyes which had started to dull naturally. She was about 5'5 to Ryan's 5'9 height. She still had fairly a thin body, not looking a day over 42 years old.

Laura took a step back and looked at her son, still as handsome as ever with his fathers looks. The deep and dark blue eyes, the blonde hair that he had cut short, he was in great shape, thin but still muscular, and had the nice complexion from her which was just about the only feature he got from her she noted to herself. She looked over her grown son as he smiled back at her, "you look more and more like your father every day…" she said in awe as she sat back down in her seat. Which was a true fact considering he hardly looked anything like her except for the big eyes and complexion…while their eyes weren't the same in color, they both the intensity and energy. Ryan just smiled, "you think?" Ryan asked as he took a seat at the table across from her. Laura nodded her head with a small smile, "how are you sweetie?" she asked. Ryan just shrugged, "I'm fine…tired, but fine" he answered.

Laura just looked sternly at him, "when was the time last you took a day off? You're overworking yourself honey…you want to be capable of working for a long time, but the way you're working yourself now won't do anything but ruin those chances" she said. Ryan just sat back in the seat and with a sigh answered her, "mom I'm okay…and I need to work a lot, I'm a partner…and I love my job anyways" he said. Laura just nodded, "well as long as you love it, but just don't overdue it" she said, Ryan just nodded his head. He knew the question was going to come up any second, she always asked this question and he was right because in that very second she asked the same question she would ask him every time they saw each other. "So have you found a girl yet?" his mother asked him.

Ryan just rolled his eyes, "no mom I haven't" he answered tiredly. Laura just sighed, "Well why not? What are you waiting for?" she asked. Ryan looked out the window, "for the right girl" he answered, which made his mom smile. "Can we change the subject?" he asked helplessly and she just nodded her head, "well then if we're changing the subject…have you heard about that Michelle Cooper girl" his mother asked. Ryan just smiled, "its Marissa Cooper mom, not Michelle" he said with a laugh. His mother laughed heartedly, "That answers my question then" she said.

"Well I'm working on her house starting Monday, I've already talked to her on the phone…she seems nice" he said. Laura took a sip of her iced tea, "that's good…I saw her the other day…stuck out like sore thumb that girl…she's quite a looker" his mother stated. "Where'd you see her?" Ryan asked curiously, "I was on my way to work and she was just leaving the doors of the Inn and getting into her car" she said. Ryan nodded his head in response, "her clothes were very nice, she looked like a model in a sea of hillbillies" his mother said with a chuckle. "But even if she wasn't wearing those clothes she was still quite beautiful, you should talk to her Ry" his mother said quickly.

Ryan stood up and went to the fridge, "I'm not going to harass Miss. Cooper mom, she just moved here" Ryan stated.

His mother stood up to grab him a glass as he pulled out the pitcher of iced tea, "of course you won't harass her, if I've taught you anything then you wont do that to any woman" which just received her a roll of the eyes from Ryan which she ignored, "just offer to show her around town or something" his mother said. Ryan looked questionably at her, "It'd be a nice thing to do" she said. Ryan just sighed and took a sip of his iced tea, "that's creepy…I don't even know her and she doesn't know me" he said.

His mother glared at him, "well then change that, talk to her…I just don't want you to be alone, its hard for a mother to see her amazing son be alone" Laura said. Ryan just chuckled, not falling for her compliment trap. Ryan just stared out the window and shook his head, "it would be a nice gesture to make sweetie…and I always taught you nice gestures Ryan" his mother said. He glanced at her and felt himself give in, he was too tired to argue with her, "okay fine…I'll offer her a tour…but that's all" he warned to his mother. Allowing himself to get tangled into his mother's "good gestures" trap. She always used that whenever he would refuse to do something, always trying to make him be the good person he was and he could never refuse Laura for long and would end up saying yes.

As he answered her, Laura just smiled and started to take her seat "that's all I ask" she said. Ryan put his glass in the sink, "I'm gonna head out mom…I want to get home early" he said to his mom. Laura stood up and extended her arms to him, "okay sweetie…it was so good to see you" she said. Ryan nodded his head, "it was good to see you too…I'll be over Sunday for dinner" he said. "Okay" his mother answered with a smile as she kissed his cheek, "love you" she said as he started to walk out of the kitchen, "love you too" he said as he turned his head towards her and gave her a smile before leaving the house, letting his mothers idea about Marissa Cooper linger in his mind, but soon let it go when he realized he didn't even know this girl…he'd never even seen her or met her, but that wouldn't be the case for long.


	5. Chapter 5

The house sat silently on the beach that early afternoon. The waves softly crashed onto the shore as the stars above sat and watched. The setting sun shined its last few rays as its light faded from the sky and was replaced with a pink afterglow.

Marissa sat in her newly decorated bedroom and smiled as she laid back against the pillows; she glanced out of the corners of her eyes and saw how pleasant the room was. The light blue color of the walls truly accented the white furniture of the bedroom. Her vanity, armoire, night stand, mirror, bed and headboard were set up around the large room, but still there was more room left. While trying to get a homey feeling in the house, she hung up pictures around her room, one of her with a couple friends back in Boston, a picture of her parents on their wedding day, a picture of her with some friends in college. A picture of her and her parents when they had visited Disney World for the first time, so many years ago and lastly a portrait of her mother at the beach with Marissa, a picture taken a couple months before her fatal death. Marissa remembered that day so well; it had been in June, just a few days after school ended for summer vacation. Julie wanted them to have one last vacation before the craziness of the summer would begin so they went to their home in Malibu, California. They had so much fun that day and wanted to capture just a second of that day and Jimmy took a picture of his took favorite women. Capturing all the love and happiness of his wife and daughter that was shared, it truly was beautiful. Julie died August 23, a little more than two months later.

Marissa stood up and strolled over to the balcony doors, she opened them slowly, feeling the soft breeze blow against her face made her smile softly. She stood against the railing and watched the water, thinking about how everything seemed to be coming together. The work on her house was getting there; it wouldn't be long before everything would be done. She looked down at her Movado watch and knew that she should be in the shower by now if she wanted to be ready for one of the owners of the roofing company to stop by.

She closed the door and made her way to the bathroom, stripping her shirt in the process. She turned on the water as hot as it could go and let it heat up as she stripped the rest of her clothing. She stepped into the large shower and felt the hot water scurry down her body in the most tranquilizing way.

A little while later, Ryan slowly walked up the steps of the mansion and rang the doorbell. He inspected the vastness of the house and was shocked to see how much work they had already done in such a little amount of time. He heard the door being unlocked and looked up to see possibly one of the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. She smiled at him as she opened the door to him, but words didn't seem to come to his brain or his lips. Fortunately for him she spoke first, "hi, you must be one of the owners of the roofing company" she said while extending her hand.

He was handsome she thought as she opened to door, very handsome. He had this rugged look that was so sexy to her with a six o'clock shadow on his face. He had tan skin, blonde hair that was cut short, and a muscular body that seemed to work in his favor. He wore a simple pair of jeans and t-shirt but continued to look great. She heard words escape her mouth as she extended her hand to the man, whom she didn't notice, was gawking at her.

He found the self control to shake her hand, feeling tingles all the way down to his toes as her soft skin mixed with his hardworking calloused hands, "yeah, I'm Ryan…Ryan Atwood" with a small smile. "Oh you're the one I talked to on the phone" she said with slight enthusiasm, he shyly nodded his head and smiled back at her. It got quiet for a moment and they just continued to stare at each other until Marissa realized how the tension had risen profusely in those mere moments and opened the door farther out to him. "Please come in" she said nicely as he stepped inside the house, "thank you Miss Cooper" he said quietly. Marissa laughed lightly, "just one favor to ask…if you're going to working on my house, please don't call me Miss Cooper" she said with a laugh "call me Marissa." He laughed along with her, "alright…that's fine, and you can just call me Ryan" he said.

Marissa started towards the kitchen and he followed her, "well what is this meeting about Ryan? Your partner called to arrange the meeting but left out what the meeting would be discussing" she said as she sat down at the table and motioned her hand for him to do the same. He sat down and looked across at her, "well we just wanted to come over and see what work had to be done so we could be prepared for Monday…and my partner just wanted one of us to come over and introduce ourselves so you know whose working on your house" he explained.

Marissa nodded her head, "oh okay…that sounds fine…well its still remotely sunny out so you should go up there now if you want to see the roof clear enough" she said while standing up. He nodded his head and stood up from the table, "okay…well I'm just going to use the latter…I'll only be up there for about 10 minutes at most" he said. Marissa just nodded and watched his back as he stepped out of the house.

After inspecting every inch of the roof and recording everything that needed fixing, he came down the latter and made his way back up to the house and stepped inside. "Marissa…I'm all done" he called out; she came out of the living room and smiled softly at him. _'God, what did she have to smile'_ he thought as he felt his chest constrict under her spell. "Okay…there isn't a ton of damage is there?" she asked, he shook his head softly, "there really isn't…you're quite fortunate…its mostly just some missing patches here and there and just a little water damage…your house was built to withstand the hurricanes…so it won't take long to fix at all" he said.

Marissa just nodded her head and felt her gazed travel down his body once again, feeling her knees tremble softly, she fixed her gaze on the carpet. It became silent and he shifted as tension started to rise, "well I guess I should go" he said. Marissa looked up quickly, "no…you don't need to leave…" she said quickly. He turned to her feeling surprised, she wanted him to stay? "I mean you're the first human contact I've had since I've been here besides the concierge at the Inn, the attendant at the gas station and the woman working behind the counter at the take out place down the street" she said in one breath with a laugh. He smiled nervously at her, "I don't know anyone and there's nothing on TV" she said and he laughed.

She felt a tingle go down her spine as he laughed and felt herself smile with the sound;_ it was a nice laugh, a laugh she wouldn't mind listening to more often_ she said to herself. "And anyways…I just ordered a pizza and need someone to eat it with me…what do you say?" she asked. Ryan just looked out at his car, knowing that he had nothing to do and knowing that he wanted to say yes, but at the same time…he was apprehensive. He turned to her and smiled, "that sounds fun" he said quietly. Marissa grinned and went back into her living room and grabbing something off the coffee table.

"While we wait for the pizza, I figured we could play some cards…I am a killer at Texas Hold 'Em" she said. He smiled and followed her into the kitchen, "then this should be a good game because I am also a Texas Hold 'Em player" he said as they sat down. She started to deal the cards and their night escaladed, having fun together and talking quietly. They didn't talk about their pasts much, just about the present, knowing that they didn't know each other enough to discuss their past. But it was a night to remember for the both of them.

The next night Ryan and his mother sat down at her table and ate their dinner, mixing their chicken palm and drinks with conversation. "So how was Michelle Cooper's house?" his mother asked. Ryan laughed, "Marissa mom…Marissa Cooper" he said and she just rolled her eyes. "Well how was it?" she asked, and he shrugged. "It was good…I went over, checked out the roof and then stayed for a little bit" he said vaguely and Laura smiled brilliantly. "Oh you did?" she asked and he nodded his head, "what'd you two do?" she asked. He took another bite of chicken palm, "just played cards, ate pizza…talked a little" he said.

Laura smiled and noticed how he was fidgeting with his food an awful lot, a lot more than he had before she mentioned Marissa. "Well that sounds nice…did you offer her the tour?" she asked, Ryan shook his head. "No I forgot to…I'll just ask her tomorrow" he said quietly. Laura smiled at him and he slowly brought his eyes to meet hers, "what?" he asked and she just continued to smile. "Mom, why are you looking at me like that?" he asked. Laura just chuckled, "nothing Ryan" she said with a laugh and he just rolled his eyes at her.

"Well she sounds lovely…just lovely" she said as she took a sip of her iced tea. Ryan just nodded his head once again, Laura watched as he seemed to let his gaze fall on the table as he intensely thought. "How's her roof?" she asked but Ryan didn't seem to hear her, "Ryan…how's the roof?" she asked and he turned his attention to her. "What? Oh its good…you know what mom? It's getting late, I should get home" he said as he stood up. Laura stood up with him, "okay…I'll call you sometime this week" Laura said and he nodded as she kissed his forehead. "Bye mom" he said as she started to walk out, "love you sweetie" she said and he turned and smiled at her, "love you too" he said before turning and walking out of the house.

Laura smiled as the door closed and started to clean up, knowing she had done a good job. _He likes her_ she thought to herself as she started to clean the dishes, _he definitely likes her. _And Laura continued to think of Ryan as she cleaned and let the ideas run through her mind, smiling often.


	6. Chapter 6

Monday came a lot sooner then anyone had expected. Ryan painfully turned through the gates that led down a long road to her house. He exhaled loudly; knowing today was going to be rough, especially for him. He would have to work all day long while Marissa was around…it must sound pleasant to any man right? Not to Ryan. He would have to feel nervous all day long, watching her stroll with her long tanned legs, gracefully glide with her luscious body, and lastly torment with her gorgeous face, stunning eyes and long honey blonde hair. No…it wouldn't be fun. That's what she did to him…he hated to admit it, he never had admitted his feelings about a girl, but Marissa was different.

She made him nervous with her affectionate smile that lit up her entire face, but he also noticed that whenever she did smile, he felt his chills subside and were replaced with a warm feeling all over. He rolled his eyes at himself as he parked, he hardly knew her, and he had spent time with her once! _How pathetic am I? _ He silently asked as he made his way up her stairs with the rest of the crew pulling up in their trucks. He ran a hand through his hair before hesitantly knocking on her door.

_How pathetic am I?_ She asked herself as got ready before the workers were to arrive. Marissa paced her bedroom, searching for her white flip flops while feeling anxious for Ryan to arrive. She did not realize how much she liked the man until she left; she did not realize how kind his smile was, how his muscular body was so much fun to inspect, how his laugh made her smile, or how blue his eyes really were. She knelt down onto all four and lifted up the bed skirt, sighing happily as she found her white flip flops under the bed.

Marissa stood up and slipped her feet into her white flip flops, she examined herself in the long mirror. She wore a white strapless sun dress which deeply accented her freshly tanned skin, her honey blonde hair and her blue eyes. The sun dress went to her knees, it was classy but yet still simple on a hot day like today. She sprayed some perfume on her neck and surveyed herself for a last time. She wore no makeup except for light pink lip gloss and her long hair was placed in a loose pony tail with straight strands lying by her delicate face. She heard the doorbell ring and quickly left the room; she came down the stairs slowly and sighed as she felt her stomach come into knots. She opened the door and was satisfied when her eyes fell upon a speechless Ryan, who eyes were glued only to her.

Ryan felt his lungs give out in that moment when he saw her at the door; she looked even more beautiful than he could remember, and it had only been merely 40 hours. Once again, he was missing the ability to speak. Marissa smiled as she took in his rugged appearance, finding him look sexier than ever with his jeans, construction boots, and t-shirt which accented his tanned and muscular forearms. His hair was messy, like he just got out of bed, which looked cuter to her than she had expected. "Hey Ryan" she said sweetly as she folded her hands at her waist. Ryan smiled and looked down, almost nervously, "hey Marissa" he said in his voice, almost making her collapse.

Both of them noticed the tension rise in those mere moments, "we're just going to start working" he said, trying as hard as he could not to stutter or mumble. Marissa just nodded her with a smile, "okay…well if you want anything or the guys want anything, like food or drinks, just ask and I'll bring out something for you guys" she said nicely. Ryan smiled gratefully and felt himself looking back down on the floor, concentrating hard on his shoes. "Well thanks…that sounds great" he said before turning and slowly starting to walk down the stairs. He made his way to the few workers that were waiting around their trucks talking, probably about Marissa he guessed. He got close and heard the words "hot as hell" and knew he had been right, but he couldn't just describe her as hot, she was so much more than just that.

He walked up to the workers and they turned to him with a smirk, "she's something isn't she?" one of the men asked and he turned his back to the house, knowing she in the house made him smile, he turned back to workers, "come on guys…let's just get started" he said as she mumbled under their breaths and started towards the house. Once he was alone, he turned once more to the house and saw her through one of the windows that looked directly into the living room where she sat reading a book. "Yes she is" he whispered to himself as he walked towards the house to start work, "even better" he said under his breath.

Day 3

It was only day 3 of his working progress at Marissa's house and things hadn't gotten any easier. After trying to converse with her once at the end of work last night, he knew he'd never be able to talk to her again. In his mind, it was the worst conversation he'd ever had, if you could even call his mumbling and stuttering a conversation and it went a little something like this:

"_So Marissa….I was wondering if you would uh…um well w-would you" he said while trying to control his urges of "uh" and "um" and stuttering but failing miserably. But while he half expected Marissa to be amused, he looked up and saw how she was just paying attention tentatively, there was no amusement or hilarity on her face. She seemed to just enjoy him conversing with her, "I was wondering…if you would let me use your bathroom?" he asked finally, knowing that he wouldn't be able to ask her out on a date. She seemed disappointed by his question but happy to help none the less, "of course Ryan…follow me" she said with a smile. _

The sun had started to disperse from the sky and Ryan still continued to work, getting done what he had to, which Marissa noticed. Marissa came out onto the patio where Ryan was just coming off the ladder, who seemed surprised to see her. "Hey" she said with a smile and he smiled back. Marissa crossed her arms across her chest as an attempt to keep her warm, considering her light green striped racer back tank top and black knee length Bermudas weren't doing the job. "It's almost seven o'clock, don't you think it's a little late to work?" she asked, hoping she wasn't coming across as rude.

Ryan hesitated in answering her, not knowing whether or not to answer at all. Marissa noticed his uncertainty and slightly smiled, "I didn't mean to come across as being impolite…I just meant that you could leave if you really wanted to, you don't need to stay" she said slowly. Ryan just nodded his head in contemplation, trying to force his mouth to speak the words he had in his head, "I don't mind…I usually work later than this…its okay, really" he said. Marissa tucked a stray piece of hair that flew out of her bun from the wind and ran her hand down her goose bump covered arm. "You're sure you don't have someone waiting for you, a wife" she said with a pause but received no nod of certainty, "girlfriend" she said slowly but still received no nod and felt somewhat relieved to know he didn't have a girlfriend, but forgot one last possibility, "boyfriend?" she asked tentatively which caused him to laugh out loud.

Ryan shook his head with a wide smile on his face, she was funny, he could give her that, "no…there's no one" he said. Marissa just nodded her with a smile and fidgeted with her silver locket, "well I actually came out here because I just made something to eat and there is way too much for me…so would you like to join me?" she asked cautiously. Ryan turned back to his navigator, knowing he still had some more things to do and turned back to Marissa. As soon as he turned back to Marissa, his mind was made, "sure…that sounds great" he said with a smile. Marissa sighed with relief and dropped her hands to her sides as she started to walk back towards the screen door, "okay…just come in when you're ready" she said with a smile and received a nod from Ryan.

Dinner was a lot more interesting than expected; she seemed him many questions about how he came to be an owner and about his family. "My got divorced when I was fifteen and that was that. I stayed with my mom she supported us with her nursing job. I went to the University of North Carolina with my friend Roger, we graduated and we were completely oblivious as to what we wanted to be …and that's when we met Brian…and that's how I got here" he said with a sigh. Marissa smiled, "do you still see your mom?" she asked, he nodded as he put down his fork, feeling fully satisfied from the delicious chicken, broccoli, and ziti that Marissa had made, "yes I do…she lives on the other side of town…I go and see her as much as my work allows" he said.

He noticed her quiet expression when it came to family, she had been so talkative about everything else but now that his family story was out in the open, she seemed unsure about her own family story. "Marissa" he said quietly and she looked up suddenly, "are you okay?" he asked. Marissa just nodded her head and had a sip of her Pepsi, "what about you? What are your parents like?" he asked with a smile. Marissa sighed and looked unsurely at Ryan, "I don't talk to my dad…I talk to his secretary, not to my dad" she said. "And your mom?" he asked, not knowing he was stepping into bad territory. Marissa sat back against her seat slowly and shrugged slowly, "my mom…my mom died" she said quietly. "She died when I was ten" she said in a barely audible tone.

Ryan stared sadly at her, not knowing what to say, he'd never dealt with loss as badly as Marissa had. "I'm sorry" he said and she shook her head, trying to push off the feelings of her mother's memory, "its fine…don't worry about it" she said. The night had turned awkward, both of them had noticed, and Marissa blamed herself. "Well I should go; I'm going to need my sleep to work" he said while standing up and pushing his chair in. He gestured to the plate and utensils and she shrugged with a smile, "don't worry I'll get them" she said. Ryan turned and moved down the hallway to the doorway, he turned back towards her and smiled at her. "I'm glad you invited me to have dinner with you" he said finally, Marissa smiled sweetly at him, "so am I" she said as she looked down shyly. "Good night" he said before turning towards the door, "good night Ryan" she said back and he stepped out through the screen door onto the porch. Marissa turned her back and started to move back to the kitchen when she heard steps coming back up the stairs. Sje turned back to see Ryan's body come back up to the screen door. "Marissa" he said, seeing her through the screen, Marissa smiled and went to the door, she opened the door slowly and Ryan stood watching her.

"I was wondering…if you would like to go out with me sometime?" he asked slowly. Marissa stood in bewilderment, she knew he had been trying to ask but never thought he'd be able to. "Would it be a date?" she asked teasingly, Ryan put his hands into his pockets, "it can be whatever you want it to be" he said. Marissa nodded her head, "okay then…a date it is" she said. Ryan smiled widely, "how does Friday night sound?" he asked. Marissa knew she had nothing planned, "that sounds wonderful" she said as she a smile start to form on his face. "Okay then…I'll see you in the morning" he said, but what he didn't expect was for her to lean forward and quickly kiss his cheek, almost making him faint. "See you in the morning Ryan" she said before retreating into the house, leaving a bewildered Ryan on the porch. And those workers were right; she really was something…maybe even better.


	7. Chapter 7

"I can't find a thing to wear Seanna" Marissa mumbled into her cell phone while she searched through her heap of clothing. Seanna had been Marissa's best friend back in Boston; she worked with her at the Boston Chamber of Commerce. They met on Seanna's first day of work when she dropped her purse, spilling all her possessions onto the ground. Marissa saw how embarrassed Seanna was, considering it was her first day and lent down to give her a hand. Ever since then they had been the best of friends, she was a year younger than Marissa and enjoyed a good party every once in a while but was more of a homebody. She wanted to spend more time in her apartment with her boyfriend Michael, just watching TV or reading. Even though there was great difference between them, it caused them to both bend for each other. Marissa would stay home with Seanna at least once or twice ever couple weeks and Marissa would drag Seanna to parties at least five or six times a month. They balanced each other off, they were exactly what each other needed and both knew that they'd never stop being friends.

"You have more clothes than an entire mall, I really cannot find a logical reason for how you to have nothing to wear" Seanna said while flipping through a new edition of Simple Living magazine. "Well find a way then because I'm being honest and I don't even know where a decent mall would be around here" Marissa justified while holding up a dress to her body, looked at herself in the mirror, rolled her eyes and through the outfit on her bed...she hadn't kept count but she estimated that she had done that with at least fifteen to twenty outfits. "Well that's your fault for moving down there" Seanna said quietly over the phone. Marissa sighed and sat down on her bed, or what was space was left of her clothes-covered bed. "I thought you said you were okay with me moving down here" Marissa said.

Marissa could almost sense Seanna roll her eyes, she was right, Seanna rolled her eyes and brought the phone over to her other ear. "How am I supposed to be fine with you just packing up and leaving Marissa? What do you think I'm doing up here? Going to parties every weekend now that you're gone? Well I'm not" Seanna said angrily. She knew that she had left her anger get the better of her, "you're my best friend Marissa…and you just left. You left without even telling me, I was in the Cape for five days visiting my family and in that time, you packed up everything you own, sold your house, quit your job and moved to a complete different area of the country" she said quietly. Marissa could feel a lump forming in her throat, lodging itself in her throat and blocking any air that would get to her lungs.

Seanna was right, she had done that. She packed up and left without a call, Seanna was like her family, she was all she had and she hurt her. "I'm sorry" Marissa croaked over the phone. She could hear Seanna sniffling and knew that she was crying, which didn't surprise Marissa, Seanna did always cry easily but that was something she always loved about her. Seanna was sensitive beyond words but that's what made her so understanding, she hardly ever got angry or swore. Marissa noted in her mind that was probably only the second or third time she ever heard Seanna use an angry tone with her since they had become friends and that was two years ago. She only got angry with touchy subjects, such as herself, Marissa, her family or her boyfriend Michael.

"It's like I mean nothing to you Marissa…you're my family Marissa...no, we didn't grow up together or go to college together, but we were best friends from my first day of work and we helped each other with everything for the past two years and I felt…" she took a second to answer, letting out a small sob in the process, "I felt like you forgot about me" Seanna said before she started sobbing over the phone, soaking a page in her Simple Living magazine in the process. "Oh Seanna, I didn't forget about you…like you said, we are family and best friends…I just…" Marissa said trailing off, looking at the picture of her mother, knowing that the picture was the only thing that would get her to say what she needed to say. "I just needed to get away Seanna…and this place; this place was the only way I could get away and at least do something my mom wanted me to do" Marissa finished, letting a tear fall down her cheek. "You are my family Seanna but I just didn't want to be the party girl anymore…I needed to change. And I'm sorry if I hurt you because that was never my intention…" Marissa said choking back a sob. "But I just need you to understand because you're the only person I have left and I hate it when you're mad at me" Marissa said freely letting her tears break lose and sobbing.

The girls sobbed into their phones for at the most ten minutes, it was the only way the both of them knew to let their feelings in. They had to deal with everything and crying was the only thing that helped. "It's okay Marissa…I understand" Seanna whispered so inaudibly that Marissa wasn't sure that she heard correctly. "Thank you" Marissa whispered back. They took their time to compose themselves, "Marissa" Seanna said, Marissa smiled into her phone, knowing that their conversation that they just had, although it was filled with many emotions and many tears, it was by far the best conversation they ever had. "Yes Seanna?" Marissa asked, Seanna sniffled and smiled herself, "the light blue sundress I got for you last year for your birthday...it stops way above your knees…you're legs look great in it, he'll drool over you" Seanna said smartly which Marissa giggled quietly. "And wear _my _white sweater that_ you_ took over the dress" Seanna said which made Marissa laugh, but she soon stopped when she heard the sincerity in Seanna's voice. "Your eyes always look best with that dress" she said but ruined her touching comment with this one, "but if you go out without the sweater than you'll look like a skank" Seanna said which caused Marissa to burst with laughter, which Seanna freely joined in.

Their laughter stopped and Marissa sighed in relief, knowing that her outfit had been picked out, "well I'll let you go, he'll be there at eight right?" Seanna asked. Marissa looked down at her watch, noting that only had an hour to get ready, "yeah...he will" Marissa said finally. "I'll call you after…give you the report" Marissa stated, "okay, now remember everything I've taught you…if he says he stills lives with his mother, you run as fast as you can. If you find that he has horrible table manners and isn't respectful, just say you're sick and leave. And lastly, don't do anything stupid please" Seanna said. Marissa smirked, "of course mom" Marissa said jokingly, but knowing that Seanna was like her mom, although she was 24 years old, she had maternal instincts way beyond her years. "Have a good time, love you" Seanna said. "love you too" she said as she was about to hang up but realized she forgot one last question, "Seanna wait!" she said loudly into the phone. "What's up?" Seanna asked. "Shoes?" Marissa questioned, Seanna turned the page in her magazine, "oh sweetie, you're one of the smartest women I know, I'm sure you can pick out some good ones" Seanna said before hanging up. Marissa smiled and put down her cell phone, knowing that it was time to get ready.

Ryan slowly brought himself up the stairs with the flowers in hand; they were a mix of yellow roses in the middle with lavender daisies, purple statice, and frilly limonium surrounding the roses. He ran a hand over his white polo shirt and checked his jeans and shoes once more to make sure he looked presentable. He rang the doorbell and waited patiently for Marissa, he took a deep breath, trying to ready himself for the night that lay ahead of him. He watched as the door slowly opened and Marissa came to the door, looking quite beautiful. She wore a short light blue dress that accented her long and tan legs that went all the way down to her white flats, legs that he couldn't take his eyes off of. Her hair was half up/half down with natural curls and pieces of hair falling around her face. She smiled brightly at him and he knew it would be a good night.

"Hey" he said with a grin, Marissa couldn't help but giggle as she opened the door wider for him to come inside, which he did. "I wasn't sure what your favorite flower was, so I hope these are okay" Ryan said as he handed her the bouquet. Marissa smiled nicely and looked up at him, they were by far the most beautiful flowers she had ever received and was so touched that he did that. "Thank you so much Ryan…their beautiful" she said as she turned to go to the kitchen, "I'll just put these in water and then we can go" she said as she went into the kitchen. Ryan stood in the front hallway and looked down at the table with the various pictures scattered on top. He smiled as he looked at the picture of two smiling girls, one was obviously Marissa and the other was a girl with short dark brown hair and light brown eyes, they seemed to be on a boat with the Boston Skyline clearly visible in the background. "It was my birthday party last year" Marissa said, surprising him from his thoughts.

"That's me and my best friend Seanna...she planned the party for me and lets just say that low key was not one of its characteristics" Marissa said with a smile. Ryan smiled at her, "do you miss her?" Ryan asked. Marissa nodded her head, "yeah…she's the closest thing I have to a sister…she's my family" Marissa said quietly. Ryan nodded his head and extended his hand out to her which she stared it, "ready to go?" he asked. Marissa stared at his extended hand and knew that this was the start, it was the start of a guy who she would end up hurting, but what scared Marissa was that she knew she would be hurt too. She smiled and placed her small hand into his and he led her out of the house and to his car, he opened her door for her which she thanked him graciously for. She sat in the seat and her legs extended and Ryan couldn't help but glance at her legs before closing the door.

He got into the car, "so where are we going tonight?" Marissa asked. Ryan smiled and turned to her, "don't worry, you'll like it" was all he said and Marissa smirked at him as they started their journey. Marissa glanced out the window and felt the comfortable silence overlap them, she turned to Ryan who was concentrating on the road, "you don't mind if I turn on the radio do you?" Marissa asked. Ryan smiled, "not at all…one of my CD's is in there so you can just put the radio on if you want" Ryan said. Marissa turned on the radio and the CD came through the speakers with the words of Dave Matthews overcame them. "I love Dave Matthews Band" Marissa said excitedly which Ryan grinned about. "I saw him at Fenway last summer, he was amazing" she said as she hired the volume. "You did? I tried to get tickets for that tour but with my work, its nearly impossible…I saw him a few years ago when I was in college though" Ryan said faintly. "He's great in concert isn't he?" Marissa asked, they pulled up to a red light, "yeah he is" Ryan said.

Ryan turned to Marissa and saw her mouthing the words to the song and couldn't help but smile, she truly was stunning. "_Stay, beautiful baby, I hope you stay American baby,  
American baby" _she sang quietly.She turned to watch Ryan drive the car but was surprised when he was already watching her; he turned back to the road quickly. She blushed and turned back to the window, they pulled into a parking lot for an attractive restaurant right on the beach. Ryan got out of the car and opened the door for her and followed her to the restaurant doors, but was surprised when she grabbed his hand in her own on the way.

_  
_

They sat at the beautifully candle lit table right next to the oceanfront window. It was one of the hardest tables to get; well that's what their waitress had said when Ryan left to go to the bathroom, she also said that she's known Ryan for a long time, considering that he had gone in that restaurant quite a lot, and that he's a great man. Marissa and Ryan's conversation had flowed nicely all evening, they talked about friends, college, their jobs or old jobs, music, basically anything they could to get to know each other better.

"Do you think you'll get a job out here?" Ryan asked as he took another bite of his filet mignon. Marissa sighed, "I actually don't know…I mean I can be honest, the only reason I got that job at the Boston Chamber of Commerce was because of my family name, I didn't have any natural ability for that segment of employment, they just craved for a good name in the business" Marissa said. Marissa took a sip of her cosmopolitan and smiled at Ryan, "Financially, I don't need a job…but for my mental stability I do, I cannot sit around and do nothing…I'll go insane" Marissa said with a laugh. Ryan chuckled and sat back against his seat, "I do not need a high end job with tons of benefits or anything special…I just need a simple part time job to keep me busy" Marissa stated. Ryan nodded his head, "see you and I are quite different, you need something to keep you busy, I need my job to make me less busy" Ryan said with a laugh.

Marissa smiled, "do you like your job?" Marissa asked him quietly, Ryan looked up at her, feeling himself get warm just by looking at her smile, "yes…I do" Ryan said finally. "I'd say you're pretty lucky then" she said before the waitress came over, "are we all done?" the waitress asked and Ryan and Marissa nodded. The waitress took their plates away and asked if they had thought abut dessert. Marissa turned to Ryan, "what do you want to do?" Marissa asked. Ryan smiled and turned to the waitress, "we'll have a piece of the strawberry cheesecake and the chocolate soufflé" Ryan turned to Marissa, "do you want coffee?" Ryan asked, "sure…decaf" she said and Ryan turned back to the waitress, "and two decaf coffees" the waitress wrote down their orders, "coming right up Ryan" the waitress said, "thanks Stacey" Ryan said as the waitress walked back to the kitchen with their plates and their order.

Ryan turned back to Marissa where Marissa was smiling brightly, "what?" he asked with a grin. "Everyone seems to love you around here" Marissa stated and Ryan laughed, "well what can I say?" Ryan asked with a smirk. "You seem perfect" Marissa stated more quietly and Ryan turned serious and looked her in the eyes, "trust me…I'm not even close to perfect" Ryan said quietly. Marissa leaned forward on the table, "lets play a little game, you tell me two flaws you have and I'll tell you two flaws I have" Marissa whispered. Ryan smiled and leant forward, they were only a couple inches away from each other and Ryan could smell her lip gloss and her sweet perfume, he craved to kiss her in that moment, "it's a deal" he whispered.

Marissa laughed and leaned back against her seat and Ryan followed her lead and did the same, Ryan thought for a few seconds. "Well, my first flaw is that I don't know what I want" Ryan said while looking down at the table. "I always have a hard time making decisions because I can never clearly tell what I want" Ryan said quietly. Marissa nodded her head and folded her hands in her lap, "one of my flaws is like the quote, I don't know what I have until its gone…I don't appreciate things or people and then once their gone, I miss them more than anything" Marissa said quietly. Ryan noticed the sadness in her eyes when she spoke and knew that their was more behind that then she told.

"Another flaw of mine is that I fear that I'll become like my dad…my parents didn't have a perfect marriage…but who does? And I felt like in one moment, they were divorced and it was all because my dad said he didn't want our lifestyle anymore, he wanted to go have his own life without us. And it scares me that I could destroy my own family one day just like my dad destroyed my family" Ryan said. Marissa put her hand on top of Ryan's which automatically caused his head to turn up and look her in the eyes, "I don't think you're capable of hurting people like that Ryan…you're too much of a good guy" Marissa said which Ryan liked, he never told anyone that and Marissa had said exactly what he needed to hear.

"Okay…my flaw is that I can't get close to people…I put up walls and don't let people in. Seanna is the only person who was able to get in because she never left; she never stopped being there for me." Marissa looked up at Ryan, "when my mom died, it ruined my dad and we weren't a family anymore…and I closed up, I'm so afraid to let people in because I'm afraid that I'll lose them." Marissa took a sip of her water and when Ryan looked in her eyes, he saw that sadness reappear once again and knew, her family is what hurt her. "So whenever I would try to form a relationship with a man, halfway through, I just stopped and pushed them away…it's a repetitive process that I still can't overcome" Marissa said quietly. Ryan placed his hand on hers, Marissa looked up at him, hoping that he'd understand, hoping that he'd see that she would hurt him and that she wasn't worth his time, but he couldn't, he saw so much more in Marissa than she could see in herself. "Do you think you'll do that to me?" Ryan asked, Marissa sighed and looked out the window at the ocean. She turned back to the beautiful man who cared for her, "at this moment…I really hope that I won't" Marissa said helplessly.

Their moment was interrupted by dessert being placed on the table before them. They ate in silence, but it seemed more soothing than anything else. And when Marissa looked up, she saw Ryan turn to her and smile, and she knew, Ryan Atwood was the perfect man to help her.

They stood on Marissa's porch, saying goodbye. "I had a really good time tonight Ryan" she said as he grabbed her hand in his. "Me too…can we do this again sometime soon?" Ryan asked. Marissa smiled, "that'd be great" she said, Ryan sighed in relief, "how does Sunday afternoon sound? I know this private place on the beach where we can go" he said with hope. Marissa couldn't help but smile yet again, "that sounds perfect" she said softly. "Okay…well I'll pick you up at 4 then on Sunday" Ryan said. Marissa nodded her head and leaned in to kiss his cheek, "bye Ryan" she said and turned to her door. Ryan smiled and made his way down the steps of her house and was halfway to his car when he heard the door open and Marissa step out onto the porch, "Ryan" she said and came down the stairs after him, Ryan came closer to her, "I hope that during dinner…when we were saying the flaws and stuff…" she looked down at her feet, "I hope I didn't scare you away" she said quietly.

Marissa looked back up at Ryan, "you didn't…I'm glad you told me. You could tell me anything about yourself and I'd be fascinated" Ryan said with a smile and Marissa smiled back at him. And before Ryan knew what was happening, Marissa Cooper had leant in and kissed him on the lips. It was a sweet kiss, a kiss that Ryan would never forget and as she started to pull away, he put his hands around her waist and pulled her back into him, kissing her more deeply. After a few more seconds of innocent kissing, Marissa pulled back and rested her forehead on his. They were breathing heavily and Ryan kept his arms locked around her waist, holding her as close to him as possible. "Gardenias" was what he heard her say, he looked confused and she smiled, "those are my favorite flowers, gardenias" she said and he smiled. Marissa kissed him one more time before breaking apart from him and moving back towards the house, "good night Ryan" she said with a smile as she turned back to her house. "Good night Marissa" he said quietly, but she heard nonetheless and she turned back to him, smiled, and went back up her stairs and inside the house.

Ryan almost thought he'd have a heart attack, she kissed him, full on kissed him. He couldn't believe she had done that, but she did. And in that very moment, Ryan Atwood knew that he was slowly starting to fall for Marissa Cooper.


	8. Chapter 8

The beginning weekend of April started off with a bang, a weekend full of hot and humid weather. _Weather that was perfect to go to the beach _thought Marissa as she got dressed. She dressed suitably for the beach with her new sexy bikini that had beautiful flower embroideries, with a bandeau cover up dress over the bikini. She had her beach bag ready with supplies and clothes to change into after the beach, she had realized that it was late in the afternoon but it was still as blistering as it was earlier. It was only a couple minutes before 4 when she came down the stairs of her air conditioned house. She grabbed a couple water bottles from her kitchen when she heard the doorbell, "its open Ryan" Marissa projected from the kitchen.

She heard the door open and footsteps come down the hallway as she closed the refrigerator as she was met with friendly blue eyes. "Hey" he said with a smile, she noticed the dark blue bathing suit that showed off his tan and muscular legs and his wifebeater that showed off all the hidden muscles he had, almost making her squirm under his gaze. "Hi" she said happily as she bounced over to him and hugged him which he took complete advantage of by smelling her engaging perfume and sweet hair. She pulled back and grabbed the waters off the counter, leaving him disappointed with empty arms. She dropped the waters in her bag and slung it over her shoulder. "Ready?" she asked in excitement, Ryan nodded and extended his hand to her which she happily accepted and left the house.

They got into his car and she turned to him, "so where are we going?" she asked and he smirked, "just wait…it's a little place we don't like to tell the tourists about…I'll keep it at that" he said as they pulled out of her driveway. Marissa laughed and hired the volume on the radio, letting the famous words of Dave Matthews fall out. "So I'm not a tourist?" she asked with a grin, he turned to her as they reached a red light, "nope…you're a local now" he said. "Since when? I just moved to Rodanthe a month ago" she said in slight disbelief, he chuckled and turned onto what looked like an abandoned road. "Well if you're with me, you're a tourist, like you said…people in this town all love me, so you're taken care of" he said with a smug smile. Marissa laughed and hit his arm, "don't make me push you off that high horse mister" she said teasingly and Ryan laughed.

Ryan turned to her as they stopped in front of what was an abandoned dirt pathway covered by trees, "let's go" he said and laughed as he looked at her puzzled face. "Don't worry, its better once we get there…I promise" he said as he got out of the car with the beach towel in his hand. He made his way to her side and opened the door for her which she gratefully accepted with a dazzling smile in his direction. She held her beach bag tightly on her shoulder as they walked down the path; she pulled out her aviator sunglasses and placed them over her eyes. Ryan turned to her and inspected her sunglasses, "you really shouldn't wear sunglasses" he murmured and she turned to him confused. "Why not? Do they look bad?" she asked and he shook his head with a smile, "well for one, you don't want to get raccoon eyes" he said as he brought his hands up to her face, "and two…I like when I can see your eyes" he said softly as he pulled the sunglasses off.

Marissa blushed as he handed her back her sunglasses and he turned back to the road embarrassed. They continued to walk in silence, dragging their feet under the trees that swayed back and forth in the spring breeze. Marissa looked ahead to what she saw as a clearing of trees, Ryan smiled as he watched the fascination come across her face as they continued to walk until they reached that opening among the trees and there lay a lone beach. Sands soft and tan with no debris in sight, as the crystal blue water glistened in the bright sun. Marissa gazed in amazement at the sight in front of her; there wasn't a person in sight on this ideal beach.

"I told you it was worth it" he said with a smile as he unfolded the extra large towel in a sunny area. Marissa smiled and took off her dress, which Ryan couldn't help but watch and gawk at her long legs and beautiful body. She sat down on the towel as he pulled off his wifebeater and sat next to her. She stared at his back and stomach finding herself craving to touch his tan skin. She lay back on the towel as he did the same, "this feels nice" she murmured as the sun ferociously hit all of her body. "Yeah it does…I love the first real weekend of spring" he said quietly.

The sun didn't seem to disperse in the next few minutes and he turned to her, "did you put sun block on?" he asked. Marissa sat up on her elbows and opened her eyes, "no I didn't" she said. Ryan stood up and grabbed her beach bag, pulling the sun block out, "you should, you'll get burnt" he said as he handed her the sun block. She opened the bottle and squirted some on her hand and rubbed it on her legs, making him writhe as she caressed her long legs with the sun block. She next covered her stomach then neck, turning on her stomach and handing him the sun block, "would you mind getting my back for me?" she asked. She undid the tie on her bikini and he watched as her back became completely uncovered, making him squirm again.

She knew what she was doing and enjoyed every second of it. He squirted some of the sun block on his hand and started to slowly rub it on her back, feeling the soft skin of her back underneath his finger tips. He rubbed every crevice of her back, hoping to get everywhere so she wouldn't get burnt, "all done" he said. Marissa tied the bikini and turned over on her stomach, "thanks" she said with a smile as she stood up and put the sun block back in her bag. She sat back down next to him and pulled the elastic off her wrist and pulled her hair into a loose ponytail. It stayed silent for a few minutes as they relaxed in the sun.

"I have a question for you" she said quietly as he opened his eyes in her direction and sat up from the towel. Ryan smiled softly at her, "okay…what is it?" he asked nicely. Marissa moved closer to him and smiled, "would you go in the water with me?" she asked with a giggle. Ryan smirked and moved closer to her, "what do I get if I go in?" he asked playfully. "I'll have to see about that" she said and stood up, Ryan pondered the thought playfully in his mind. "Well it better be something good" he stated as he stood up, Marissa laughed as she started to stride towards the water. She turned back to him, with a sexy smile on her face; "I think you'll like it" she said and continued to walk towards the water, adding a seductive moment to her hips as she walked, which Ryan couldn't help but stare at.

Ryan jogged quickly after her as she dispersed into the water and dove under. He followed her out to the water where she just smiled and ran a hand through her wet hair, "I've always loved the water" she stated quietly, she ran her finger along the surface of the water, "my dad used to call me a fish, I would go in the water and wouldn't appear for the remainder of the day" she said with a smile. Ryan watched her facial expressions as she talked about her dad, it was heartrending, that's all he could see. "Marissa" he said softly and she looked up at him, they continued to bob up and down in the deep water, feeling the soft waves hit them. "If you don't mind me asking, why don't you talk to your dad?" he asked slowly. Marissa smiled sadly, "you just asked the question I've had since I was eleven years old" she said quietly. She put her head back, dipping her long hair in the water, submerging her tresses under the water.

"I think that after my mom died…he just" she trailed off; she looked up at him where he waited patiently and she relaxed. "He couldn't accept it and just pushed everyone out of his life, including me…he started working and I haven't really seen him since" she said quietly. Ryan nodded his head on he placed a loving hand on her cheek, she moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck as he enclosed his arms around her waist. She rested her forehead on his, "I'm sorry…about your mom…and your dad" he said quietly, the natural sound of the waves adding to their moment. "Me too" she said while tears started to slowly build, "me too" she repeated as they continued to hold each other in the water.

Ryan slowly brought his lips up to her forehead where he delicately laid his lips only for a second, she thought, but felt disappointed that he had pulled them away. "Do you want to go back to the towel?" he asked quietly and she nodded as they started to move from the water and back to their towel. They held hands as they walked back to their towel and sat down next to each other, she laid her head on his shoulder and smiled softly. "I'm sorry for dampening our day" she said and he just laughed, "You didn't…not at all, it's nice actually to be quiet…it's soothing" he said as she laid back down on the towel.

Marissa turned on her side and so did Ryan so they were facing each other. Ryan brought his hand up to her cheek, "I'm sorry if me asking about your parents makes you upset" he said quietly. Marissa weakly smiled, "its okay…surprisingly, it's nice to talk about it considering I've never talked about it before…except for with Seanna" she said. Ryan smirked, "you mean you've never told any of the guys you've been with?" Ryan asked with a wife grin, Marissa laughed, "no I have not…honestly you're the first guy that I've told…" Marissa said. Ryan started to lean in towards her and Marissa followed his lead and leaned in close to his lips, "I'm glad" he whispered before kissing her.

Later on that day, Ryan and Marissa drove slowly down the road as they contemplated where they should go. "Well how about your house? We're always at my house" she said and he nodded, "okay…that sounds fine…but I'll just let you know that I am a guy and my house isn't as clean as yours" he said with a smile. Marissa laughed, "Don't worry…If it wasn't for the maid service, my house would be a pigpen" she said. Ryan smirked and turned onto his street and up to his house, Marissa looked out the window and smiled, "your house is really nice Ryan" she said before getting out of the car. Ryan followed her lead and got out of the car and going around to the other side where she stood. Marissa took a few steps toward the house and noticed the light blue that it was painted, the big windows that overlooked the beach and ocean which was about 25 feet away from them. She turned to him and extended her head, like he had done before and he smiled, he grabbed her hand and made their way up the stairs.

A little while later, after Ryan showed her the tour of the house and both of them had taken separate showers, Marissa and Ryan sat on the couch, watching TV. Ryan had stretched himself out in his sweatpants and t-shirt and Marissa had nestled her head onto his chest. Ryan continued to run his fingers through her naturally dried hair and would occasionally lean down to kiss the top of her head. Ryan turned to the clock and noticed that it was already 10 o'clock; he turned to Marissa but noticed that she was already asleep on his chest. He smiled and leaned down whisper in her ear, "Marissa wake up" whispered in her ear and she groaned and turned over to face him, "hmm?" she stated as she could barely open her eyes. "Do you want me to take you home?" he asked and she shook her head no, "do you want to stay here?" Ryan asked surprisingly. Marissa nodded her head and laid her head back on his chest and fell back asleep.

Ryan moved slowly and somehow picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs to his bedroom where he slowly placed her on the bed, she had brought sweatpants and a t-shirt to change into, and so there was so need to change her clothes to make her more comfortable. Ryan started to move out of the room when she turned over sleepily, "Ryan…what are you doing?" she asked tiredly with a yawn. "I'm just going to sleep in the guestroom" he said with a smile, he noticed how cute she was when she was half asleep and couldn't keep the grin off his face. "No, sleep in here…its fine" she said and lifted up the blanket, while yawning. Ryan got in the bed next to her and she grabbed his arms and wrapped them around her body, molding his body to hers. Ryan smiled into her neck, allowing his body to tranquilize to the steady sound of her breathing, and fell asleep with Marissa in his arms.

The next morning Ryan grabbed the pitcher of orange juice from the fridge and placed it in the middle of the table. Ryan checked to make sure all the food was ready when he heard footsteps and looked up to see Marissa, smiling at him while leaning against the doorway. Her hair was messy and her eyes were tired, but she was gorgeous. "Hey…I was wondering when you were going to wake up" Ryan said with a smile, Marissa smiled and made her way over to him. "Sorry I slept so late…or that I slept at all, you could've just taken me home" she said simply. Ryan shook his head as he moved to an open cabinet, "it was no problem…it was nice" he said as he turned around with two coffee mugs.

"I wasn't sure what you liked, so I made just about everything" Ryan said as he filled the cups with hot coffee, Marissa turned to the table full of breakfast foods such as pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, French toast, and fruit, along with orange juice and coffee. Marissa stood in awe at the many breakfast foods, "this is so considerate…I feel bad" she said with a smile. Ryan laughed and pulled out her chair as she sat down in it, "well don't…just eat with me" he said as he leaned in over her shoulder from behind her and added a delicate kiss to her neck. It was a simple side of affection that Marissa loved. Ryan sat down and followed her lead and started eating as well. "How did you sleep?" he asked as he took a sip of his coffee, "very good" she said before placing a piece of pancake in her mouth.

Ryan smiled as he watched her eat, and took a bite of his French toast. "I thought you had work today?" she asked after taking a gulp of orange juice. "I did…I called in sick this morning when I woke up" he said simply and she nodded, "how long have you been awake?" she asked while looking the clock on the wall, 10:09 am it read. Ryan shrugged, "since about 8…I'm just used to waking up early" he said. They finished their breakfast together and sat back against their chairs, allowing their full stomachs to digest.

Ryan stood up and started to clear the plates and Marissa joined him, helping with anything she could. "So I was thinking, it's beautiful out and you're here…so maybe we could go to the park? It's really nice and quiet" he said and turned to her. The park? Marissa said to herself, she hadn't been to any park in years, but she felt excitement seek its way through her blood. "Okay" she said with a big smile and helped him place the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher.

A little while later, after waiting for Ryan to get ready, then going to Marissa's house for her to get ready, they finally got to the park. It was quiet and peaceful; there weren't too many kids, probably at the beach Marissa thought as they walked, and it was a large park, huge actually, with freshly cut green grass and flowers. There were fountains and jungle gym sets, but it seemed as more of a place to come and think than anything. They continued to walk until they reached a quiet place in the grass and took a seat. Ryan leaned back, trying to soak in the warm sun, while Marissa just watched him. He really was attractive, really sexy, she said in her mind as her eyes inspected his whole body. She bit her lip and forced herself to look away, but couldn't seem to think of anything else. He was so kind, considerate, and funny, he cared about her, and he was just perfect for her.

"Do you think you're making a mistake?" Marissa asked quietly as he opened his eyes and turned to her quite puzzled by her question. Ryan shook his head, "what mistake?" he asked and she gestured to the space between them, "me and you, us going on dates, spending time together…do you think it's a mistake?" she asked and he smirked. "Why would I? Do you?" he asked, not feeling quite sure if he wanted to here her answer. "I don't know Ryan…I'm nervous" she said and started to fidget with her hands that lay delicately in her lap, Ryan leaned over and grabbed her hand with his, entwining their fingers.

"Nervous about hurting me?" he asked and she looked quite surprised up at him, how did he know? Ryan just shrugged his shoulders, "well yeah…I mean I don't have a good track record with guys and I don't want to hurt you…you're the first guy Ryan that I've…" Marissa trailed off as she felt her bottom lip start to quiver. Ryan placed his finger underneath her chin and lifted her eyes up to meet his, what marvelous eyes they were, the kind that looked right into your soul. "First guy I've ever actually cared about" she finished as she looked away, trying so hard not to cry, she couldn't cry, she had to be strong.

Ryan smiled softly and leaned towards her, grasping the back of her neck softly and turning her towards him. They sat only inches apart, Ryan stared at her beautiful face, her plump raspberry lips and ocean blue eyes. They sat like that for a few seconds, just staring. "I don't want you to worry about that" he murmured before covering her lips with his own. Marissa felt his soft lips touch hers, felt his tongue work its way into her mouth and couldn't help but move her tongue against his. She experienced every emotion and feeling she had for him in that kiss and couldn't fight back the aching pain in her heart, knowing that she was falling too quickly for the man she never intended on meeting. She had looked for someone like Ryan all her life but before she could find him, Ryan found her.


	9. Chapter 9

The weekend had arrived in a flash and Marissa found herself more and more relieved, a couple days by herself seemed like the best way to relax and let her mind rest. The incident with Ryan's mother that had occurred earlier in the week had seemed to fade between them, leaving what seemed like distance between them. Something that Ryan completely detested. The last thing that Ryan wanted was for distance to come between them because he knew what would happen if it did. She'd push him away and then it'd all be over, which was exactly what Ryan didn't want. Ryan remembered her words from their first date, some of the things that she said still rung in his mind to this day…

"_My flaw is that I can't get close to people…I put up walls and don't let people in…so whenever I would try to form a relationship with a man, halfway through, I just stopped and pushed them away…it's a repetitive process that I still can't overcome" _

His job was almost done on the roof, he had purposely taken a slow time so he could spend time with her but now there were only a couple days left and he felt as if he never wanted to stop working there. Marissa was the first girl in a long time that he felt truly happy with in a long time.

Marissa walked through the aisles of the supermarket, picking up some comfort foods for the weekend that she would be spending with her television and pajamas. She grabbed a bag of chips and placed them in her carriage as a voice broke her out of her thoughts. "Marissa" she heard and turned to see Laura, Ryan's mother. "Hi Mrs. Atwood" Marissa said with a smile and Laura shook her head, "I told you, call me Laura" she said and Marissa nodded her head.

"How are you?" Laura asked as she grabbed something and placed it in her carriage. "I'm good…and you?" Marissa asked. "I'm fine…" Laura said with a smile. Marissa played with the bottom of her t-shirt, wondering what to say next. "My son really likes you" Laura abruptly said, genuinely surprising Marissa, causing her to turn to Laura. "How…" Marissa started to say and Laura cut her off, "I can just tell…he came over to have dinner with me the other night and the way he talks about you" Laura said trailing off. "I know my son and I know that he likes you…" Laura said with a small smile, causing a smile to appear on Marissa's face.

Laura kept a content smile on her face. "For some reason, Ryan has never had good luck with women. I mean of course they all ran to him because my son is very handsome" Laura said and was cut off by Marissa, "and because he's a great guy" she added with a smile. Laura smiled, "that too. But he just never found the right girl for him but he really likes you…just do me a favor and don't hurt him" Laura said. Marissa felt her mind spin with her words, not hurting him…that's all she feared. She did not want to hurt Ryan, not by any means. Marissa smiled as genuinely as possible, "I'll try not to" she said and Laura smiled and placed her hand on Marissa's arm. "Thank you…and please, any time Ryan is coming over for dinner, join him…I'd love to talk more with you" she said and Marissa smiled and nodded as Laura walked away.

Marissa turned back to her carriage and took a deep breath wondering how one man had managed to change absolutely everything in her life.

Marissa sat on the couch in her living room watching _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, smiling as watched the beautiful Audrey Hepburn. She took a sip of her Pepsi and groaned when she heard the doorbell ringing, wondering who was here, and ruining her night with Audrey. She stood up and stretched her pajama clad body, as she paused the movie and made her way to the door. She opened the door and felt a small smile adorn her face, "what are you doing here?" she asked Ryan, who had a bag of what looked like Chinese in his hand.

"I know we didn't make plans or anything but I got home and it felt strange…to be alone…I'm so used to being with you at night, is that okay?" he asked. Marissa smiled and leaned in and kissed his lips softly. "That's fine…I'm just sitting and watching movies anyways. Come on in" she said and opened the door for him to come inside. He went in and placed the bag on her coffee table, as he turned and pull her into his strong arms. Marissa giggled as she snuggled into his chest, smelling his cologne and feeling comfortable once again.

Marissa looked down at his outfit, jeans and a polo shirt, something simple looked so great. "You're way too overdressed for Oldie Night" Marissa stated and Ryan looked down at his outfit, completely puzzled by what she meant. "What do you mean? What's Oldie Night?" he asked with a chuckle, Marissa smiled, "Sorry, Seanna and I used to have, what we liked to call, an Oldie Night. We'd wear pajamas, watch old movies, and sit around like old people…so we just referred to it as Oldie Night. We had it every Friday night, and then Saturday night was Party Night, which we'd go to parties, bars, clubs, wherever we wanted to go. Oldie Night was more of her thing, Party Night was my night" Marissa finished causing Ryan to laugh.

"Well I guess it's good to know that my girlfriend used to be partier" he said as he started to walk towards the stairs. "Trust me, I was like a professional partier, I was the MVP of Parties" Marissa said with a smirk. Ryan laughed, "I'm so proud…some of my clothes are still upstairs so I'll go get changed for Oldie Night" he said with a smile as he made his way upstairs. Marissa giggled and turned towards the coffee table where she unloaded the cartons of Chinese food, plates and utensils.

Soon enough, they resulted to be sprawled out on the couch, snuggling with each other as they ate food and watch _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. As they finished eating, they heard the doorbell ring. Marissa started to stand up when Ryan held her down, "I'll get it" he said as he stood up. Marissa smiled and savored his warm hand as it slowly fell from her grasp. Ryan opened the door to two people he knew, although the girl looked quite familiar. "Are you Ryan?" asked the girl and Ryan smiled, "yeah…and you are?" Ryan asked but was given his answer when he heard Marissa yell from behind him.

"SEANNA!" she yelled as Seanna burst through the doorway and jumped into Marissa's open arms. The best friends hugged as the man in the doorway holding the luggage placed out his hand to Ryan, "I'm Mike, Seanna's boyfriend" he said with a smile. Ryan accepted his hand, "I'm Ryan, Marissa's boyfriend…nice to meet you" he said with a smile. They firmly shook hands, "Nice to meet you too man" he said and came inside the house with the luggage, watching the girls as they still stayed in each other's arms, talking about events that either of them had missed.

As everyone was introduced and Seanna and Mike were given a tour of the house, they ate the rest of the food in the living room, they all sat around, talking quietly. "So were you surprised that we came?" Seanna asked Marissa, as Mike wrapped his arm around her waist. "Of course, I cannot believe that you're here…" she trailed off as she leaned her head back against Ryan's chest. "Well believe it because we'll be shacking up here the entire weekend" Seanna said with a laugh.

"So what were you two doing before we came?" Seanna asked as she grabbed her drink and took a sip. "We were just watching an old movie" Ryan merely said and Seanna's eyes bulged out, "you were doing Oldie Night without me?" Seanna asked and Marissa laughed. "I couldn't help it…its instinctual for a Friday night" Marissa said with a wide grin. "Just like parties on Saturday nights…which by the way we are going out. I've checked out the area and there is a really great bar not too far from here that we can all go to" Seanna said with a smile.

Marissa felt her jaw drop, "you want to go to a bar? That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard" Marissa stated. "Almost as weird as seeing you doing Oldies night when it clearly was never your thing" Seanna retorted with a smirk and Marissa just grinned. Marissa grabbed the remote from the table, "it is now" she simply said as she played the movie and put the remote down on the coffee table and snuggled back into Ryan's grasp who only pulled her in closer so he could whisper sweet nothings in her ear, causing Marissa to giggle, which Seanna watched in awe to see her best friend act completely different with Ryan than she had done with any other guy. Wondering what this guy could have done to change her best friend for the better.

The next morning, Marissa slowly opened her eyes, looking over at Ryan who was standing on the balcony, looking at the early morning ocean. Marissa rubbed her sleepy eyes and quietly went to her bathroom to quickly brush her teeth. She exited the bathroom, adjusting her tank top as she stepped onto the balcony and wrapped her small arms around Ryan's waist. Ryan smiled and turned his head to face her, "morning" he said and she lightly kissed his shoulder blade.

"Morning" she replied as she joined him at his side. "Its beautiful out…" he said quietly and she nodded in agreement, he grabbed her hand in his and pulled her closer to him, joining their lips together. Marissa wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer to her as his arms encircled her. They slowly made their way back to her bed as he fell back against the pillows, feeling her trail her fingers allow the hem of his wifebeater as she lifted it up. He sat up and pulled off his wifebeater as he flipped her over on her back as he hovered above her.

He leaned down and kissed her passionately, adjoining their tongues together. Marissa slowly played with the elastic of his boxers, teasing him as she let her hand travel downward south, causing him to moan in her mouth. He pulled down her shorts slowly, followed by her panties and threw them to the ground without hesitation. Marissa felt Ryan nip at the skin of her neck and adorn her collarbone and neck with kisses. Marissa sat up and pulled off her tank top, leaving her naked as she laid back down. Marissa could feel his fingers trail down her stomach to her core, causing her to throw her head back in pleasure. Marissa pulled Ryan up to her and roughly kissed him lips as she pulled down his boxers, throwing them on the ground.

Their bodies moved swiftly against one another and they joined as one. And as they made love, Marissa felt all his worries leave her mind. She didn't care that Seanna and Mike were a few rooms down the hall. She didn't care about what'd she done in her life and she didn't care if life had dealt her the worst cards, because at the moment, she felt as if those cards had magically turned into a full house, as Ryan made the deepest love to her, filling her with passion she didn't know existed.

That night, Ryan, Marissa, Seanna, and Mike all surrounded a table in the bar, talking loudly over the band that was playing. Marissa finished her first cosmopolitan with ease as she placed the glass back down on the table, smirking and winking at Seanna before watching Seanna take a sip of her beer. Ryan turned to Marissa, "I'm going to go get another beer with Mike…do you want another drink?" he asked and Marissa nodded, "sex on the beach please" Marissa said with a wide grin. Ryan chuckled and kissed her lips, "be right back" he said as Mike stood up and followed Ryan to the bar to get more drinks.

Marissa watched as Ryan and Mike talked, looking closely at his face and letting her eyes travel down his body. His black dress shirt and nice jeans looked great on him. "I can't lie…you picked a great one" Seanna said, breaking her out of her thoughts. "He's amazing Marissa" Seanna said as she took another sip of her drink. Marissa smiled, "I know…" she said with a dreamy look on her face, which immediately caused a reaction from Seanna. "Oh my God, you had sex with him didn't you?" Seanna asked loudly. Marissa abruptly turned to Seanna, "shhhh! And no…we didn't" she answered Seanna quietly.

"How was it?" she asked and when Marissa didn't answer, her jaw dropped. "It was absolutely amazing, wasn't it? I mean you always talk about sex…I can hardly get you to shut up." Seanna said and Marissa smiled and turned back to her, knowing she was going to lose anyways. "It was….incredible" Marissa stated softly, but Seanna still heard her. Seanna shook her head, "I hate you…the man's perfect enough and he's great in bed…that's unfair" Seanna said, causing Marissa to laugh.

Seanna watched the content smile on her face as she played with her hands, and she watched as she glanced over at Ryan, witnessing her eyes light up and her smile expand dramatically. Marissa turned back to face Seanna, feeling that she had staring at her all that time. "What?" Marissa asked, noticing the look on Seanna's face. A face she had never seen Seanna make before. "You love him…don't you?" Seanna asked and Marissa's look down immediately, giving Seanna her answer. "Seanna…I do not-" Marissa started to say but stopped herself as Ryan placed her drink in front of her and took the seat next to her.

Marissa turned to face Ryan and thanked him quietly, and he leaned in to kiss her but was shocked when she turned her head at the last second, letting his lips fall on her cheek. Ryan merely looked at her confused and as he tried to grab her hand, she moved her hand up to brush an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear. Seanna watched the both of them and felt anger rise up inside her, "Marissa…I've got to go to the bathroom, come with me" Seanna demanded as she stood up, Marissa following behind her. Seanna grabbed her wrist and dragged her to an empty hallway, "hey the bathrooms are over there" Marissa protested but stopped when she saw that Seanna was mad, madder than she ever saw her.

"I'm going to say this once Marissa…and only once. I've watched you for years…going out with guys and hurting them. Doing the same routine over and over again and I thought that maybe you might stop at some age but you know what, I've lost all that hope for you" she said loudly, Marissa stood stunned by her actions, she crossed her arms across her chest. "That man loves you Marissa, it's so damn obvious and I'm not going to stand here and watch you screw up another relationship that could actually be good for you" Seanna said loudly. "I understand what you've been through but most people would have moved on and embraced life as well as they could…but all you've done is built a wall to hide behind…" she said. "Why are you saying this to me?" Marissa said back, feeling tears come to her eyes.

"I'm doing this because I care…you're the sister I never had and I know…I know that it's hard" Seanna said, the anger disintegrating, and being replaced by sadness. Her eyes clouded over with tears, "You don't think I wanted to do the same thing you do when my older brother died four years ago…take the easy way out and not get close to anyone…I did but I knew that I'd be hurting my brother even more if I did that…and I think you're hurting your mom too. She wouldn't want to see you like this, she'd want you to move on…because what's the point of being alive if you don't?" Seanna asked as more tears escaped her eyes. Seanna wiped her eyes the best she could before returning back to the table, leaving Marissa alone…just like usual.

That night, Marissa laid in her bed alone. Ryan had decided to go home and sleep, utterly shocking her considering that they with each other just about every night. Why would he want to stay? Marissa asked herself, she had been horrible to him at the bar after Seanna had yelled at her, merely pulling away from his grasp and moving away from him when he would try to grab her hand or kiss her. She didn't know why she did it but she did and she couldn't take it back.

All her life she had done this…and every word Seanna had said was right. She had built a wall and she was hiding behind it. She was right about hurting a relationship that could be good for her…that relationship was the best thing for her and she was ruining it. But the worst thing was the truest thing. She was hurting her mom…she knew that she was…her mom would have never wanted her to dwell over this for so long and she wouldn't have wanted her to hurt innocent guys that did nothing but try to get close to her. Seanna's words may have been cruel but they were the most honest words that she'd ever heard.

She didn't know when she decided to leave and she didn't know why…but the next morning, Marissa packed. She grabbed a small travel bag and filled it with clothes, shoes, and other toiletries. She printed out the directions from the computer in her bedroom, folded them, and put them in her pocket. She wrote on a piece of paper and placed it on the pillow as she stepped out of the room quietly and out of the house and into her car before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway and onto the main road to the destination she needed to make.

A few hours later, Ryan, Seanna, and Mike all sat in the living room, wondering where she would have gone, the note still placed in Ryan's hand…the uneaten breakfast food still placed on the coffee table. "I just don't understand why she left…" Ryan said quietly as he sighed. Seanna sighed, "this is my fault…I yelled at her last night in the bar and said some things that I shouldn't have said…I thought they might have helped her and made her see things more clearly…I would not have said anything if I had known she would have left…" Seanna admitted quietly as Mike pulled her closer to him to comfort her.

Ryan read the note once again:

_Ryan,_

_I'm sorry that I'm leaving so suddenly like this. I know you're probably confused but I just need to do this…I need to clear my head. I won't be gone long…just a few days. I'll be in touch. _

_Marissa_

Ryan pulled out his cell phone and called her once again, getting more annoyed as the answering machine immediately picked up. Ryan put his phone down and placed his head in his hands. "Is there something I could have done?" Ryan mumbled. "No…there's nothing you could have done. Marissa's parents broke her. When her mom died, it was a time that she needed her dad the most and he just abandoned her like she meant nothing to him…she's just never gotten over that and I thought that you would be able to change her for good" Seanna said, "but now…I don't know what to think" she whispered. Ryan nodded his head in agreement, "neither do I…" he said.

-2 Days Later-

After a long drive and a night spent in a hotel, Marissa slowly pulled into the parking lot and into a space near the front doors. She slowly exited the car, checking her outfit to make sure she looked okay. She made her way into the building and into the lobby; the secretary's desk was empty so she took a seat. She felt her nerves go haywire and she felt as if she would burst at any moment. A woman she didn't recognize came down the hallway and sat at in the secretary's desk. She stood up and went over, "Hi…is Susie here?" Marissa asked politely. The secretary looked up with a kind smile; she was young…in her thirties perhaps. She had long red hair and kind green eyes; she had soft features and bore a striking resemblance to her own mother and for some reason that eased some of her nerves.

"No…I'm sorry, she's out sick today…but is there anything I can help you with?" she asked nicely. Marissa looked to the office door, looking at the name on the door, feeling all the fear come to a stop. She spoke the words she never thought she would, she thought she was done with this…she had thought it was all over…but she was far from over…"Is Jimmy Cooper in?" she asked. "Yes…he's right here" the strong voice answered from behind her, obviously not recognizing her voice, she turned around to face him and his face seemed to pale as soon as he realized who it was, "Marissa" he said quietly, clearly shocked. "Hi dad" Marissa said, saying words he never thought he'd hear again.

Things had definitely changed.


	10. Chapter 10

The weekend had arrived in a flash and Marissa found herself more and more relieved, a couple days by herself seemed like the best way to relax and let her mind rest. The incident with Ryan's mother that had occurred earlier in the week had seemed to fade between them, leaving what seemed like distance between them. Something that Ryan completely detested. The last thing that Ryan wanted was for distance to come between them because he knew what would happen if it did. She'd push him away and then it'd all be over, which was exactly what Ryan didn't want. Ryan remembered her words from their first date, some of the things that she said still rung in his mind to this day…

"_My flaw is that I can't get close to people…I put up walls and don't let people in…so whenever I would try to form a relationship with a man, halfway through, I just stopped and pushed them away…it's a repetitive process that I still can't overcome" _

His job was almost done on the roof, he had purposely taken a slow time so he could spend time with her but now there were only a couple days left and he felt as if he never wanted to stop working there. Marissa was the first girl in a long time that he felt truly happy with in a long time.

Marissa walked through the aisles of the supermarket, picking up some comfort foods for the weekend that she would be spending with her television and pajamas. She grabbed a bag of chips and placed them in her carriage as a voice broke her out of her thoughts. "Marissa" she heard and turned to see Laura, Ryan's mother. "Hi Mrs. Atwood" Marissa said with a smile and Laura shook her head, "I told you, call me Laura" she said and Marissa nodded her head.

"How are you?" Laura asked as she grabbed something and placed it in her carriage. "I'm good…and you?" Marissa asked. "I'm fine…" Laura said with a smile. Marissa played with the bottom of her t-shirt, wondering what to say next. "My son really likes you" Laura abruptly said, genuinely surprising Marissa, causing her to turn to Laura. "How…" Marissa started to say and Laura cut her off, "I can just tell…he came over to have dinner with me the other night and the way he talks about you" Laura said trailing off. "I know my son and I know that he likes you…" Laura said with a small smile, causing a smile to appear on Marissa's face.

Laura kept a content smile on her face. "For some reason, Ryan has never had good luck with women. I mean of course they all ran to him because my son is very handsome" Laura said and was cut off by Marissa, "and because he's a great guy" she added with a smile. Laura smiled, "that too. But he just never found the right girl for him but he really likes you…just do me a favor and don't hurt him" Laura said. Marissa felt her mind spin with her words, not hurting him…that's all she feared. She did not want to hurt Ryan, not by any means. Marissa smiled as genuinely as possible, "I'll try not to" she said and Laura smiled and placed her hand on Marissa's arm. "Thank you…and please, any time Ryan is coming over for dinner, join him…I'd love to talk more with you" she said and Marissa smiled and nodded as Laura walked away.

Marissa turned back to her carriage and took a deep breath wondering how one man had managed to change absolutely everything in her life.

Marissa sat on the couch in her living room watching _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, smiling as watched the beautiful Audrey Hepburn. She took a sip of her Pepsi and groaned when she heard the doorbell ringing, wondering who was here, and ruining her night with Audrey. She stood up and stretched her pajama clad body, as she paused the movie and made her way to the door. She opened the door and felt a small smile adorn her face, "what are you doing here?" she asked Ryan, who had a bag of what looked like Chinese in his hand.

"I know we didn't make plans or anything but I got home and it felt strange…to be alone…I'm so used to being with you at night, is that okay?" he asked. Marissa smiled and leaned in and kissed his lips softly. "That's fine…I'm just sitting and watching movies anyways. Come on in" she said and opened the door for him to come inside. He went in and placed the bag on her coffee table, as he turned and pull her into his strong arms. Marissa giggled as she snuggled into his chest, smelling his cologne and feeling comfortable once again.

Marissa looked down at his outfit, jeans and a polo shirt, something simple looked so great. "You're way too overdressed for Oldie Night" Marissa stated and Ryan looked down at his outfit, completely puzzled by what she meant. "What do you mean? What's Oldie Night?" he asked with a chuckle, Marissa smiled, "Sorry, Seanna and I used to have, what we liked to call, an Oldie Night. We'd wear pajamas, watch old movies, and sit around like old people…so we just referred to it as Oldie Night. We had it every Friday night, and then Saturday night was Party Night, which we'd go to parties, bars, clubs, wherever we wanted to go. Oldie Night was more of her thing, Party Night was my night" Marissa finished causing Ryan to laugh.

"Well I guess it's good to know that my girlfriend used to be partier" he said as he started to walk towards the stairs. "Trust me, I was like a professional partier, I was the MVP of Parties" Marissa said with a smirk. Ryan laughed, "I'm so proud…some of my clothes are still upstairs so I'll go get changed for Oldie Night" he said with a smile as he made his way upstairs. Marissa giggled and turned towards the coffee table where she unloaded the cartons of Chinese food, plates and utensils.

Soon enough, they resulted to be sprawled out on the couch, snuggling with each other as they ate food and watch _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. As they finished eating, they heard the doorbell ring. Marissa started to stand up when Ryan held her down, "I'll get it" he said as he stood up. Marissa smiled and savored his warm hand as it slowly fell from her grasp. Ryan opened the door to two people he knew, although the girl looked quite familiar. "Are you Ryan?" asked the girl and Ryan smiled, "yeah…and you are?" Ryan asked but was given his answer when he heard Marissa yell from behind him.

"SEANNA!" she yelled as Seanna burst through the doorway and jumped into Marissa's open arms. The best friends hugged as the man in the doorway holding the luggage placed out his hand to Ryan, "I'm Mike, Seanna's boyfriend" he said with a smile. Ryan accepted his hand, "I'm Ryan, Marissa's boyfriend…nice to meet you" he said with a smile. They firmly shook hands, "Nice to meet you too man" he said and came inside the house with the luggage, watching the girls as they still stayed in each other's arms, talking about events that either of them had missed.

As everyone was introduced and Seanna and Mike were given a tour of the house, they ate the rest of the food in the living room, they all sat around, talking quietly. "So were you surprised that we came?" Seanna asked Marissa, as Mike wrapped his arm around her waist. "Of course, I cannot believe that you're here…" she trailed off as she leaned her head back against Ryan's chest. "Well believe it because we'll be shacking up here the entire weekend" Seanna said with a laugh.

"So what were you two doing before we came?" Seanna asked as she grabbed her drink and took a sip. "We were just watching an old movie" Ryan merely said and Seanna's eyes bulged out, "you were doing Oldie Night without me?" Seanna asked and Marissa laughed. "I couldn't help it…its instinctual for a Friday night" Marissa said with a wide grin. "Just like parties on Saturday nights…which by the way we are going out. I've checked out the area and there is a really great bar not too far from here that we can all go to" Seanna said with a smile.

Marissa felt her jaw drop, "you want to go to a bar? That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard" Marissa stated. "Almost as weird as seeing you doing Oldies night when it clearly was never your thing" Seanna retorted with a smirk and Marissa just grinned. Marissa grabbed the remote from the table, "it is now" she simply said as she played the movie and put the remote down on the coffee table and snuggled back into Ryan's grasp who only pulled her in closer so he could whisper sweet nothings in her ear, causing Marissa to giggle, which Seanna watched in awe to see her best friend act completely different with Ryan than she had done with any other guy. Wondering what this guy could have done to change her best friend for the better.

The next morning, Marissa slowly opened her eyes, looking over at Ryan who was standing on the balcony, looking at the early morning ocean. Marissa rubbed her sleepy eyes and quietly went to her bathroom to quickly brush her teeth. She exited the bathroom, adjusting her tank top as she stepped onto the balcony and wrapped her small arms around Ryan's waist. Ryan smiled and turned his head to face her, "morning" he said and she lightly kissed his shoulder blade.

"Morning" she replied as she joined him at his side. "Its beautiful out…" he said quietly and she nodded in agreement, he grabbed her hand in his and pulled her closer to him, joining their lips together. Marissa wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in closer to her as his arms encircled her. They slowly made their way back to her bed as he fell back against the pillows, feeling her trail her fingers allow the hem of his wifebeater as she lifted it up. He sat up and pulled off his wifebeater as he flipped her over on her back as he hovered above her.

He leaned down and kissed her passionately, adjoining their tongues together. Marissa slowly played with the elastic of his boxers, teasing him as she let her hand travel downward south, causing him to moan in her mouth. He pulled down her shorts slowly, followed by her panties and threw them to the ground without hesitation. Marissa felt Ryan nip at the skin of her neck and adorn her collarbone and neck with kisses. Marissa sat up and pulled off her tank top, leaving her naked as she laid back down. Marissa could feel his fingers trail down her stomach to her core, causing her to throw her head back in pleasure. Marissa pulled Ryan up to her and roughly kissed him lips as she pulled down his boxers, throwing them on the ground.

Their bodies moved swiftly against one another and they joined as one. And as they made love, Marissa felt all his worries leave her mind. She didn't care that Seanna and Mike were a few rooms down the hall. She didn't care about what'd she done in her life and she didn't care if life had dealt her the worst cards, because at the moment, she felt as if those cards had magically turned into a full house, as Ryan made the deepest love to her, filling her with passion she didn't know existed.

That night, Ryan, Marissa, Seanna, and Mike all surrounded a table in the bar, talking loudly over the band that was playing. Marissa finished her first cosmopolitan with ease as she placed the glass back down on the table, smirking and winking at Seanna before watching Seanna take a sip of her beer. Ryan turned to Marissa, "I'm going to go get another beer with Mike…do you want another drink?" he asked and Marissa nodded, "sex on the beach please" Marissa said with a wide grin. Ryan chuckled and kissed her lips, "be right back" he said as Mike stood up and followed Ryan to the bar to get more drinks.

Marissa watched as Ryan and Mike talked, looking closely at his face and letting her eyes travel down his body. His black dress shirt and nice jeans looked great on him. "I can't lie…you picked a great one" Seanna said, breaking her out of her thoughts. "He's amazing Marissa" Seanna said as she took another sip of her drink. Marissa smiled, "I know…" she said with a dreamy look on her face, which immediately caused a reaction from Seanna. "Oh my God, you had sex with him didn't you?" Seanna asked loudly. Marissa abruptly turned to Seanna, "shhhh! And no…we didn't" she answered Seanna quietly.

"How was it?" she asked and when Marissa didn't answer, her jaw dropped. "It was absolutely amazing, wasn't it? I mean you always talk about sex…I can hardly get you to shut up." Seanna said and Marissa smiled and turned back to her, knowing she was going to lose anyways. "It was….incredible" Marissa stated softly, but Seanna still heard her. Seanna shook her head, "I hate you…the man's perfect enough and he's great in bed…that's unfair" Seanna said, causing Marissa to laugh.

Seanna watched the content smile on her face as she played with her hands, and she watched as she glanced over at Ryan, witnessing her eyes light up and her smile expand dramatically. Marissa turned back to face Seanna, feeling that she had staring at her all that time. "What?" Marissa asked, noticing the look on Seanna's face. A face she had never seen Seanna make before. "You love him…don't you?" Seanna asked and Marissa's look down immediately, giving Seanna her answer. "Seanna…I do not-" Marissa started to say but stopped herself as Ryan placed her drink in front of her and took the seat next to her.

Marissa turned to face Ryan and thanked him quietly, and he leaned in to kiss her but was shocked when she turned her head at the last second, letting his lips fall on her cheek. Ryan merely looked at her confused and as he tried to grab her hand, she moved her hand up to brush an imaginary strand of hair behind her ear. Seanna watched the both of them and felt anger rise up inside her, "Marissa…I've got to go to the bathroom, come with me" Seanna demanded as she stood up, Marissa following behind her. Seanna grabbed her wrist and dragged her to an empty hallway, "hey the bathrooms are over there" Marissa protested but stopped when she saw that Seanna was mad, madder than she ever saw her.

"I'm going to say this once Marissa…and only once. I've watched you for years…going out with guys and hurting them. Doing the same routine over and over again and I thought that maybe you might stop at some age but you know what, I've lost all that hope for you" she said loudly, Marissa stood stunned by her actions, she crossed her arms across her chest. "That man loves you Marissa, it's so damn obvious and I'm not going to stand here and watch you screw up another relationship that could actually be good for you" Seanna said loudly. "I understand what you've been through but most people would have moved on and embraced life as well as they could…but all you've done is built a wall to hide behind…" she said. "Why are you saying this to me?" Marissa said back, feeling tears come to her eyes.

"I'm doing this because I care…you're the sister I never had and I know…I know that it's hard" Seanna said, the anger disintegrating, and being replaced by sadness. Her eyes clouded over with tears, "You don't think I wanted to do the same thing you do when my older brother died four years ago…take the easy way out and not get close to anyone…I did but I knew that I'd be hurting my brother even more if I did that…and I think you're hurting your mom too. She wouldn't want to see you like this, she'd want you to move on…because what's the point of being alive if you don't?" Seanna asked as more tears escaped her eyes. Seanna wiped her eyes the best she could before returning back to the table, leaving Marissa alone…just like usual.

That night, Marissa laid in her bed alone. Ryan had decided to go home and sleep, utterly shocking her considering that they with each other just about every night. Why would he want to stay? Marissa asked herself, she had been horrible to him at the bar after Seanna had yelled at her, merely pulling away from his grasp and moving away from him when he would try to grab her hand or kiss her. She didn't know why she did it but she did and she couldn't take it back.

All her life she had done this…and every word Seanna had said was right. She had built a wall and she was hiding behind it. She was right about hurting a relationship that could be good for her…that relationship was the best thing for her and she was ruining it. But the worst thing was the truest thing. She was hurting her mom…she knew that she was…her mom would have never wanted her to dwell over this for so long and she wouldn't have wanted her to hurt innocent guys that did nothing but try to get close to her. Seanna's words may have been cruel but they were the most honest words that she'd ever heard.

She didn't know when she decided to leave and she didn't know why…but the next morning, Marissa packed. She grabbed a small travel bag and filled it with clothes, shoes, and other toiletries. She printed out the directions from the computer in her bedroom, folded them, and put them in her pocket. She wrote on a piece of paper and placed it on the pillow as she stepped out of the room quietly and out of the house and into her car before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway and onto the main road to the destination she needed to make.

A few hours later, Ryan, Seanna, and Mike all sat in the living room, wondering where she would have gone, the note still placed in Ryan's hand…the uneaten breakfast food still placed on the coffee table. "I just don't understand why she left…" Ryan said quietly as he sighed. Seanna sighed, "this is my fault…I yelled at her last night in the bar and said some things that I shouldn't have said…I thought they might have helped her and made her see things more clearly…I would not have said anything if I had known she would have left…" Seanna admitted quietly as Mike pulled her closer to him to comfort her.

Ryan read the note once again:

_Ryan,_

_I'm sorry that I'm leaving so suddenly like this. I know you're probably confused but I just need to do this…I need to clear my head. I won't be gone long…just a few days. I'll be in touch. _

_Marissa_

Ryan pulled out his cell phone and called her once again, getting more annoyed as the answering machine immediately picked up. Ryan put his phone down and placed his head in his hands. "Is there something I could have done?" Ryan mumbled. "No…there's nothing you could have done. Marissa's parents broke her. When her mom died, it was a time that she needed her dad the most and he just abandoned her like she meant nothing to him…she's just never gotten over that and I thought that you would be able to change her for good" Seanna said, "but now…I don't know what to think" she whispered. Ryan nodded his head in agreement, "neither do I…" he said.

-2 Days Later-

After a long drive and a night spent in a hotel, Marissa slowly pulled into the parking lot and into a space near the front doors. She slowly exited the car, checking her outfit to make sure she looked okay. She made her way into the building and into the lobby; the secretary's desk was empty so she took a seat. She felt her nerves go haywire and she felt as if she would burst at any moment. A woman she didn't recognize came down the hallway and sat at in the secretary's desk. She stood up and went over, "Hi…is Susie here?" Marissa asked politely. The secretary looked up with a kind smile; she was young…in her thirties perhaps. She had long red hair and kind green eyes; she had soft features and bore a striking resemblance to her own mother and for some reason that eased some of her nerves.

"No…I'm sorry, she's out sick today…but is there anything I can help you with?" she asked nicely. Marissa looked to the office door, looking at the name on the door, feeling all the fear come to a stop. She spoke the words she never thought she would, she thought she was done with this…she had thought it was all over…but she was far from over…"Is Jimmy Cooper in?" she asked. "Yes…he's right here" the strong voice answered from behind her, obviously not recognizing her voice, she turned around to face him and his face seemed to pale as soon as he realized who it was, "Marissa" he said quietly, clearly shocked. "Hi dad" Marissa said, saying words he never thought he'd hear again.

Things had definitely changed.


	11. Chapter 11

Unicorns, fairies, and her dad and her in the same room. Those were three things that Marissa had given up ever seeing in her lifetime a lot time ago. She had read stories with wild fantasies and fairytales, having the fairies help people through desolate times and unicorns came and gave magic to all those who needed it. Over the years, she gave up on seeing those things, and she also gave up on the idea of her in the same room as her father after she had left from Texas. It's safe to say that Marissa felt that for a moment that maybe all the things she never thought she'd see could magically appear as she sat in the same room with her father, Jimmy Cooper.

Marissa and Jimmy continued to merely stare at each other, both of them seeing some father-daughter resemblance. She had his soft features, the kind eyes that seemed to light up their entire faces. And while she still had the kind eyes on her delicate face, his eyes seemed to have gone bitter, lost to the sinister side of his personality, the same side that had shut her out of his life many years ago and the same side that had taken over him completely.

It didn't seem as if he was going to have the will to talk, for he was still shocked that she was in front of him. But she was different. She had thought of a vast majority of things she would say if she ever saw her dad again, cruel and petty remarks that would hopefully make him feel bad, but at the moment, she just wanted to destroy him. She wanted to rip apart the man that had made her just as reckless as he was. But as she stared into his eyes, the man known as her father, she saw that the job was already done, he was already broken and had been for a very long time.

"You ruined everything" Marissa whispered as she felt her eyes gloss over. Her father continued to stare at her, his expression somewhat softening as she spoke, just to hear her speak seemed to relieve him. "And I'm not saying this to make you feel bad because by doing that…I'm being more like you and I don't want to be. And I need you to know what you've done" Marissa said quietly. Jimmy merely stared at his daughter, the little girl he had once seen was now a woman and he felt a part of his heart ache for missing so many years of her life. "I was ten years old dad…I was a little kid…I was barely old enough to cross a street without someone holding my hand" Marissa looked off into the window that looked out across the city of Houston, she saw the sky turn dark, rain obviously on the way.

"I still remember that night perfectly…I remember what you said to me and what mom said to me before she left…but I can't remember what you said to me after she died" Marissa said as she turned back to face her dad, fury filling her blue eyes. "But that's right…you didn't say anything because I didn't exist anymore…right dad?" Marissa said as she stood up, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "She died and you abandoned me! I needed someone and you forgot about me like I didn't matter. I still haven't moved on from her dieing because you weren't there to help me move on" Marissa yelled, feeling the tears that came pouring from her eyes completely overpowering.

"You're the reason I'm like this…you're the reason I can't be with this amazing man who's perfect for me, a man who loves me and would anything for me…that's your fault" Marissa said as she started to sob. Her father had his face looking down at the ground; hiding what she thought looked like tears. Marissa grabbed her bag, placed it on her shoulder and started to move towards the door. Once she reached the door, she turned back to the slouching figure that sat on the couch. "Mom dieing, that didn't break me…you broke me. You ruined everything and I just want you to live with that, I want it to make you even more miserable with yourself than I am with myself" Marissa said as a sob escaped her dry lips, she turned the door knob and opened the door. "Bye dad" Marissa said quietly as she left his office and moved quickly down the hallway to the front doors. Once she made it to her car in the parking lot, she sat inside and felt the sobs wrack her thin and weak body.

She heard the harsh words that she had just spoken replay in her mind, wondering why the horrible feeling in her stomach hadn't disappeared when she told her dad off, once and for all. She reached down to grab her cell phone and turned it on, revealing seven new messages. She listened to each message, three from Seanna and four from Ryan from the past couple days, asking where she was and whether or not she was okay. She listened to Ryan's last message and felt her eyes gloss over with tears once again as she listened to his heartbroken voice.

"Marissa, it's me Ryan…again. I don't where you are or what you're doing…but I just hope you're okay and that you're going to come back here…" she heard him sigh loudly, "I don't know if I did something to make you leave… but I can't help but be angry at you. I'm Ryan, I'm a good person and I listen to you, I take care of you, I do everything I can to make you happy because I want to and because…I love you" Marissa felt a small smile appear on her face. "And I want to express that love for you and make everyone know that I'm in love with the most amazing girl I've ever met…and I don't know what's wrong with you that you just won't let me" he finished and she heard the click of the ended phone call.

All the triumph she had felt a few minutes before from finally saying the words to her dad seemed to disappear and be replaced with guilt and fear…the guilt of ever leaving her home and the fear of what would happen when she went back.

Marissa pulled into the familiar driveway, feeling all the nervousness fill her bloodstream. She looked around, feeling all the remorse of not coming more often. She got out of her car with the roses in her arms, the light rain coated her and she felt the shiver in her bones. She walked down the road, looking at the scenery. She reached the grave and placed the roses on the tomb, feeling heavy tears leak from her red and delicate eyes. She leaned down and did her best to remove all the access dirt and weeds from around her tomb.

Marissa pulled her jacket tighter to her body as she stood up straight, feeling her lip start to quiver. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here in a while…it was too hard to come visit" Marissa admitted quietly, feeling the words just flow from her lips. She read the words on the tomb, wishing silently that they would change, that they would be someone else but they never changed, remaining Julie Cooper forever.

"I finally talked to dad…well more like I yelled at dad and he sat silently. I hope that you're not mad at me for what I said…I was just so upset" she said as she wiped some of the tears from her cheeks. She stood tall, not caring if anyone heard her talking out loud to a tombstone, to her, it was the most normal thing she'd done in years. "I don't know what to do…Ryan loves me mom and I don't want to lose him…but I think I already have" Marissa whispered as she started to sob, the rain mixing with her tears. "You would have really liked him…he's amazing mom, he's perfect for me and I think that I love him…I just wish you were here" Marissa said as sobs escaped her lips, the rain getting harder by the second. "I need you here…just tell me what I need to do…give me a sign" Marissa said loudly.

Marissa looked around, wondering if there would any great moment or sign that would tell her exactly what to do…but nothing came. She dejectedly turned around and started walking to her car. She turned around to face the grave once more, "bye mom…I love you." With that, Marissa got back into her car and exited the cemetery, knowing that it was time to go home.

**2 Days Later**

Marissa opened her front, dropping her bags next to the door and hanging up her coat. She sat down on her stairs and pulled off her sneakers, lazily placing them near her bags and went to her kitchen and was shocked to see someone sitting at the table.

"What are you still doing here?" Marissa asked as she watched Seanna pick up a Starbucks drink and bring it to her lips. "I figured I'd wait for you to come home…so I could kick your ass personally" she said with a glare. Marissa sighed and sat down across from her at the table, reached over to grab Seanna's drink, much to Seanna's dismay and took a sip. "I know you're mad…but I needed to go…I just had to do this…for me" Marissa said quietly.

Seanna looked up at Marissa, connecting eyes; she looked into Marissa's eyes. It was a look that only came when her parents were involved, but this look, was far worse. It was like all your emotions bunched into one and Seanna could see it, she could see it clearly in Marissa's eyes.

"You saw your dad, didn't you?" Seanna asked. Marissa leaned back against the seat, nodding her head slowly with a sad smile on her face. "How was it?" Seanna asked, completely shocked and yet excited to hear all the information about Marissa's encounter with her father. "As well as can be expected…with our history… or lack of history" Marissa muttered as she kept her eyes on the table in front of her. Seanna reached over and placed her hand on Marissa's, catching Marissa's attention and causing her eyes to meet Seanna's.

"I'm sure you told him what he needed to hear…I'm proud of you" Seanna said and Marissa nodded. They sat in silence and Seanna continued to stare at Marissa, the once bubbly and happy Marissa was replaced, even if it only for this moment and it scared her. Almost as if she was holding every single emotion inside of her so she wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.

"Do you know that feeling when you feel like someone is sitting on your lungs…and it hurts to breathe? It's like you're numb but there's a gargantuan amount of pressure on your body and everything feels wrong" Marissa said quietly and Seanna listened intently to every word, letting it all sink in. "After my brother died…that's how I always felt" Seanna said. "It's like it hurts to do anything…and you can't think…it's like you're in a different world" Seanna added. Marissa nodded and continued to stare at her kitchen table.

Seanna leaned over and grabbed her hands, mumbling sweet nothings to her as they sat at the kitchen table together, waiting for the numbness to pass.

A little while later, they sat outside on the front porch, allowing the afternoon sun to shine on their faces. They sat silently, not speaking whatsoever. They did not need words, just the company of each other. Marissa turned to Seanna, "I think I'll go see Ryan…try to work things out with him" she said quietly and Seanna nodded. Marissa stood up, grabbing her purse in the process. "I'm sure things will be okay" Seanna said reassuringly and Marissa nodded, she walked down the front stairs to her car and left the house.

Marissa pulled into his driveway, feeling her stomach start to twist and turn, almost as if into a pretzel. She turned off the car and hesitantly got out, straightening out her clothes. She ran a hand through her long hair, wishing she had at least taken a shower before she came because the shower she had taken last night at the hotel seemed to do nothing. She went up his front steps and knocked on the door, feeling her heart beat almost just as loud. The door opened and there he stood, certainly surprised that she was at the door but he didn't look excited, quite the opposite actually, more weary and tired.

_**It's not right, not okay.  
Say the words that you say.**_

Marissa smiled weakly, almost trying to reassure herself. "Hi" she said and Ryan nodded, he opened the screen door and stepped onto the patio right next to her. They stood in front of one another, looking around and catching glimpses of one another every few seconds. "I don't know why you left…or where you went…or what you did…" he said trailing off. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about" she started and was surprised when he held his hand up to her, stopping her.

_**Maybe we're better off this way?  
I'm not fine, I'm in pain.  
It's harder everyday.**_

"Just let me finish" he said and she watched as he stuffed his hands deep in his jean pockets. "I just think that maybe…this is more of a one sided relationship. You know how I feel about you and I don't think you feel the same…so I think that maybe we should stop seeing each other" he said quietly, almost painfully. Marissa felt her heart drop and she felt her eyes start to water. "My job on your house is done…so you can give the check to my partner Brian" he said as he looked away from her.

_**Maybe we're better off this way?  
It's better that we break…**_

Marissa wiped the tears from her cheeks and did her best to hold in all the tears that she could. "You've been pulling away from me and as much as I want to stop you, this is something that only you can stop" he said and turned to her, feeling lower than low as he looked at her crying eyes. "I'm sorry Marissa…" she heard him say and felt all power leave her body, not knowing what to do or say, only being able to cry. Ryan turned and opened his screen door and she felt her body react immediately, reaching out and grabbing his arm and turning him around to face her.

_**So you sitting all alone,  
You're fragile and you're cold, but that's all right.  
Life these days is getting rough.**_

She moved into his arms and kissed him softly, "please don't do this…" she said through tears after she pulled away from his lips. She kept a grasp on the front of his shirt and he merely pulled away, "I don't want to lose you…" she said quietly with pleading eyes that he seemed to lose himself in, like usual. But this time was different, they weren't the same and they both knew that. "But you don't want to keep me either, now do you?" he rebutted.

To that, she had no reply.

Seanna heard her car pull up in the driveway and pulled down the box of pizza on the table and moved to the door where a dazed Marissa came to the door. She came inside and came face to face with a concerned Seanna. "What happened?" Seanna asked quietly, to scared to think about what could have possibly happened. Marissa felt the heavy sobs escape her lips, the sobs and emotions that she had been trying to hold in all day come out all in one.

_**They've knocked you down and beat you up.  
But it's just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah..**_

Seanna pulled Marissa into her arms, "he broke up with me" she said through sobs and Seanna sat down with Marissa on the couch, allowing her to lay down and place her head in Seanna's lap as Seanna laced her fingers through Marissa's curly and long blonde tresses.

_**I'm not fine, I'm in pain.  
It's harder everyday…**_

"I wish my mom was here" she said through sobs and Seanna felt herself start to cry lightly. Seanna held her tighter and kissed the top of her head, "I know sweetie…I'm so sorry" Seanna whispered into her hair, knowing that no words could ever make her feel better. It seemed as if nothing could be controlled anymore, it was all up in air…and it was crashing down on them.

_**Maybe we're better off this way?  
It's better that we break, baby.**_


	12. Chapter 12

Ryan drank the coffee slowly, hoping to wake himself up from the horrible nightmare he was experiencing. He wanted to believe that he had felt worse than this at some point in his life but for some reason, he couldn't find one situation in his entire existence where that statement was accurate. He didn't know how hard it would be to not have Marissa around, she had grown on him…especially when she'd softly sing the songs in the car or play with his hands when she was bored.

He smiled as he remembered all the things he loved her for. He heard his phone ring and placed his mug of coffee down on the table and grabbed his cell phone, answering it without glancing at the caller id, "hello?" Ryan answered and he heard a woman's voice answer him. "Ryan?" he heard and Ryan felt confused as to who it was, he knew it wasn't Marissa, or his mom. "Yes this is he, who's this?" Ryan asked. "Oh hey Ryan, this is Kailen…from the bar last night" she answered and Ryan remembered.

He had gone to a bar last night with Roger and Brian, they had been trying to make him feel better and have some "guy time." Unfortunately for him, that "guy time" had been a lie to set him up with another woman, a woman that they could find at the bar. Finally, a woman approached him and started talking to him, she was really pretty, he had to admit. She had black hair and bright emerald green eyes. They had talked casually while Ryan felt that he couldn't talk openly to this woman, he felt he had to, he had to at least try to move on. So she asked for his number and in the spirit of moving on, he gave it to her.

"Oh hey Kailen…how are you?" he asked nicely. "I'm good…how are you?" she asked kindly and Ryan felt some pressure rise in his chest, "I'm alright… what's going on?" he asked and he heard her take a deep breath. "Well I was wondering if you'd want to go out with me tonight. Just to get some dinner" she asked hopefully and Ryan felt himself panic. He had been bracing himself for moving on, but now was the time, and all he could feel was panic. "Umm…yeah that sounds good…" he answered slowly. "Okay…I'll come get you around 6:30" she said and they hung up.

Ryan felt the pressure in his chest rise and he didn't know how to resolve it. He tried to rest and take some of it off his mind but nothing to seemed to work. One hour and a half had passed with no sleep and no resolved problems.

He was interrupted from his panic when he heard someone knock on his door, he looked at the clock confusedly. It was only four in the afternoon on a Saturday, who would be at his house? He opened his front door and came face to face with someone he knew looked familiar, almost as if he had seen him in a photograph somewhere. "Hi…can I help you?" Ryan asked the older man, "yes…are you Ryan Atwood?" the man asked and Ryan nodded his head. "Well then yes you can help me, I'm here to talk to you…about my daughter, Marissa Cooper" the man responded and Ryan felt his jaw drop slightly. "I'm Jimmy Cooper" he said quietly and for that, Ryan did not have a response.

The next 5 days were excruciating. Nothing seemed right, and nothing seemed to fit. She felt as if she had lost something, something so deep inside her heart that it ached to breathe…it hurt to live. Marissa found herself crying at anything, anything remotely sad, she'd burst into tears, almost as if she needed another reason to cry and let her emotions fly freely. Seanna had decided to stay a few more days with her to help her recuperate but now it was time for her to leave, there was nothing else that she could do for Marissa anymore.

Marissa read her book quietly on her bed, trying to take her mind off everything, but it wasn't as easy as she thought it'd be. All that kept filling her head was what happened, the things that were said and how he said them.

"_You know how I feel about you and I don't think you feel the same…" _

Marissa closed the book as she heard his voice fly through her head once again. She heard the way he said his words and how he seemed so insecure about what he was saying, that it was his fault for her problems with intimacy. Marissa knew what he said wasn't true, even if he didn't know, she did.

She flipped the book around and was surprised when she saw something fly out of the jacket of the book. She looked down at the picture and smiled, looking at her and Ryan in her living room. She had brought home a camera for them to take some pictures and she managed to take a picture of the two of them. She had held the camera out in front of them and snapped the picture quickly, capturing a blissful moment in time. They had just finished watching a movie together and she sitting in his lap, with his arms completely encircling her and holding her against his chest. Her head was resting on his and she never looked happier.

Marissa opened the book and placed it back inside, feeling better after knowing that it was safe and unharmed. She got off her bed to go take a shower and she looked to her dresser, seeing three other pictures of her and Ryan, knowing that she had to talk to him, it couldn't end like this. She went into her bathroom, starting the shower and feeling her head start to spin with ideas of what to say and what to do.

"This is probably very surprising and unexpected" Jimmy said quietly as he placed down the glass of water that Ryan had given him.

Ryan had allowed him inside and they discussed how Jimmy even knew how Ryan was and Jimmy answered, "Do you really think that I didn't have someone at least watching out for her in the area? She has a hired bodyguard in every city she goes to, so I always know…" Jimmy said calmly a few minutes ago.

"Just a little" Ryan responded, sarcasm laced through his words, "I am very confused though…as to what you're doing here" Ryan said curiously. Jimmy sat back against the couch and sighed, "Marissa and I haven't had much of a relationship since her mother…my wife, Julie, passed away… it was very hard for me to continue to live normally after Julie had died" Jimmy said as he stared out the window of the house, looking at the ocean in the distance. "Marissa came to visit me a few days ago" he said and Ryan's ears perked at this bit of information. "She just felt like it was necessary… and she mentioned you and said that you were an amazing man" Jimmy said, reliving the memory.

"She also said other things that needed to be said on her part…but Ryan; the point is that Marissa doesn't know how…to love. She can love her friend Seanna, but with you…it's different" Jimmy said softly, trying to delicately tell Ryan. Ryan let the words soak into his brain, not knowing how to feel. "I'm glad that Marissa had the chance to resolve some things… but what does this do for me? I still lost someone I'm in love with" Ryan said with fire in his eyes. Jimmy nodded his head, "it's not her fault…if she can't commit to you, that's my fault… I did that to her, and I don't know what's going on between the two of you…but I just wanted you to know that" Jimmy said quietly as he stood up. Jimmy extended his hand to Ryan and Ryan hesitantly shook his hand, "take care of her Ryan" Jimmy said quietly and left the house.

Ryan said quietly, thinking of all the news that Jimmy had just told him. He glanced at the clock, seeing that it was already six o'clock, knowing that it was time to start getting ready for his date with Kailen. He quickly took a shower and got dressed, spraying some cologne on and making sure he looked presentable. He heard a knock on the door and noticed that she was ten minutes early, he walked over to the door, a fake smile plastered to his face as he opened the door but the smile faded when he saw who was standing there.

"Hi" Marissa said quietly, her hands softly shaking as they fumbled with the buttons on her navy blue sweater. She was dressed casually in jeans, a white top and a quarter length sleeve sweater, accenting her blue eyes and making her straight blonde hair seem brighter. "Hi" he said, feeling too stunned to come up with anything better. "I just wanted to talk to you…" Marissa said gently and Ryan nodded, stepping out onto the patio with her. They took a seat on the bench on his patio and sat silently, hoping the awkwardness would fade away.

"I'm sorry" she said suddenly, causing Ryan to turn to her. "I'm sorry for what I did to you… hurting you… that wasn't my intention" Marissa said and Ryan nodded his head, "I know" he said with a small reassuring smile. "And you said… you said that I didn't love you…that's not true" Marissa said, her eyes filling with tears. "I do… I do love you…and I know I'm know I'm a little late in telling you that…but I just needed you to know" Marissa said as she wiped the tears off her cheeks. "Marissa… I lo-" Ryan started, feeling himself instinctually respond when he heard a car pull up in the driveway and Kailen get out of the car.

Marissa looked at the woman confusedly and looked to Ryan, letting the realization settle in. Marissa smiled sadly and stood up as Kailen made her way up Ryan's stairs onto his patio, looking confused as she saw Ryan and Marissa. Ryan stood up and made his way over to her, "Kailen this is my…Marissa" Ryan said softly and Kailen smiled confusedly towards Marissa. "Marissa this is Kailen" Ryan said and Marissa smiled, "nice to meet you" Marissa said with a small sniffle.

"Kailen, I just need to talk to Marissa for a minute…can you just wait for me inside? I'll be just a minute" Ryan asked and Kailen nodded, "yeah sure" Kailen said and made her way inside.

Ryan turned back to Marissa, "I don't know what to say" Ryan said honestly and Marissa shook her head. "You don't need to say anything" Marissa said as she pulled the sweater closer to her body. "I just told you that I love you…so you choose what you want to do with that…and I'll understand if you never want anything to do with me again" Marissa said as she moved towards the stairs, "you know where to find me" Marissa said as she smiled softly at him and went down the stairs and got into her car. He watched as her car moved into the distance, knowing that he at least needed to say how he felt. So as he watched her car move away from him, he gently whispered "I love you too." And once her car was out of sight, her gathered his bearings and went inside.


	13. Chapter 13

He was handsome, very handsome.

That was all Kailen could think as they talked lightly throughout dinner. He hadn't said much, his mind seemed to be somewhere else, and she didn't know if it had anything to do with that Marissa girl who had been at his house earlier or what but she knew that his mind was somewhere else, not here with her.

"So who is she?" Kailen found herself asking suddenly and he looked up curiously at her. "Marissa… who is she?" she asked and Ryan sighed before taking another sip of his ice cold beer. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to but it just seems as if you could use someone to talk to" Kailen said with a small smile. Ryan sat back and shrugged, "she's my girlfriend… well now my ex-girlfriend, I don't even know what we are anymore…" Ryan said as he stared down at his drink.

"I worked on the roof of her house, we got to know one another and we spent pretty much every day together…" Ryan said with a small smile, remembering all the time they spent together. "It didn't take long for me to fall in love with her" Ryan said quietly. Kailen listened intently to his words, his sincere words for his ex-girlfriend. "She's smart... kind" Ryan said as he fumbled with his hands. "And so beautiful…more beautiful than I can explain" he said softly and Kailen smiled kindly. "But she has some problems with intimacy…" Ryan trailed off. Kailen's eyebrows seemed to furrow in confusion and Ryan noticed.

"Her mom died when she was young…and her dad kind of abandoned her after that… so it's hard for her to get close to people" Ryan said softly, sadness laced throughout his words. "It's just hard to not be with her… when I saw her today, I just felt alive… being with her makes everything worthwhile" Ryan finished. Kailen jaw slightly fell in awe, she didn't know he had these emotions inside of him… and she definitely did not think he was the type to so freely admit them. 

"So why did she come today?" Kailen asked and he looked up at her, he ran a hand through his hair tiredly. "She came by to tell me that she's in love with me but now I'm not sure if she said it because I said it… you know?" Ryan said nervously. Kailen shook her head with a small smile, "trust me Ryan… all women, no matter the situation, will mean it when they say it. It takes guts to say I love you because when you admit how you feel you're putting your heart on the line… no woman lies about their heart" Kailen finished. 

Ryan looked up at the girl in front of him, she was beautiful, he could easily say that. And obviously very smart… and any other guy would have felt attraction, but all he could was gratitude for helping him and reassuring him. There was only one woman for him and he knew that… 

_Don't know why I'm still afraid  
If you weren't real I would make you up… now_

Kailen didn't know why, but she felt that this date, as unfortunate for her as it was considering the guy was already taken, made her feel more at ease. No, maybe Ryan wasn't the guy for her, but if there were more guys like Ryan in the world, than she knew she'd find one of them. She didn't know if her and Ryan would remain friends, or even if Marissa and Ryan would work their problems out…but she did know that even if things didn't work out, she was glad she was able to help someone as amazing as Ryan.

"What do you say if we head outta here?" Kailen asked, signaling the waiter for the check, "sounds good" responded Ryan as he took out his wallet. The check came to the table and Ryan quickly grabbed it. "We can split it" Kailen said and Ryan shook his head, a smirk on his face, "I'll get it… after the way you've helped me… it's the least I can do" Ryan said simply and she smiled thankfully. They stood up and left the restaurant, going to Kailen's car quickly on the slightly chilly night. They talked lightly on the ride home but they both knew there wasn't much left to say. Kailen pulled up to his house and unbuckled his seat belt and turned to her.

_I wish that I could follow through  
I know that your love is true.. and deep.. as the sea_

"Thank you… for tonight… it was what I needed" he said simply and she smiled. "I'm glad… I had a nice time" she said. "Me too" he said and leaned in to lightly kiss her cheek, "thanks Kailen" he said softly and opened the door and stepped onto his walkway. As he started to walk up his walkway to his house, he heard her voice through the silent neighborhood and turned to face her, "hey Ryan… I hope it works out… for you and Marissa… you both deserve it" she said with smile and Ryan smiled gratefully as she drove away. 

Ryan stepped into his house and listened to the quietness, knowing that this wasn't where he wanted to be. He grabbed his keys and went to his car, peeling quickly out of his driveway and onto the road to a familiar spot.

_But right now  
Everything is turning blue…_

He pulled up to the house quickly, turning off the car and stepping out of the car quietly. He slowly walked up her walkway, hoping to not be too loud. He knocked quietly on the door, seeing the light on the living room and the lights of the big screen TV. If he knew her as well as he thought then he guessed that she was probably watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's." It was her favorite movie after all and always seemed to comfort her. 

The door opened slowly and she seemed astonished as she saw who her guest was. "Ryan…" she said, almost inaudibly, opening the door wide. He could hear the TV and the familiar "Moon River" tune in the air; feeling satisfied that he been right. "Hey…" he said with a small smile. She opened the door and came onto the porch to join him in her flannel pj's and t-shirt. "What are you doing here?" she asked curiously as she wrapped her arms around her in the cold Rodanthe night.

_And right now,  
The sun is trying to kill the moon…_

She watched as he rubbed the back of his neck with the tips of his fingers, something he did when he was nervous she came to notice. "I was out on a date with Kailen… the woman you met earlier" he started quietly, noticing how diverted her eyes to the floor and shifted uncomfortably. "And she is smart… and nice, and very pretty" he said slowly as she continued to look down, feeling more and more uncomfortable about how he was on a date with another woman, a woman he seemed to like. A woman who could probably commit to a man very easily, something she couldn't do. 

"But all I could do during dinner… was think of you and talk about you" he said as he grabbed her hand in his, "I want to be able to move on… but I can't Marissa, you're the end of the line for me… you're it" he said quietly and she felt a smile of love come onto her face as she entwined their fingers. "Will you come for a ride with me?" he asked abruptly, changing the subject of their conversation quickly. Marissa nodded with a small smile, "of course… just let me change my clothes" she said and went back inside. 

She came out a couple minutes with her hair up in a simple pony tail, allowing her beautiful face to be seen clearly. She changed into jeans, black long sleeve thermal shirt and sneakers. "Come on" he requested as he held his hand out for her to take as she closed the door and grabbed his hand and went to his car. They continued to hold hands and rested them quietly on the console as he drove slowly to the nearest highway. They drove slowly up the highway in silence, not an awkward silence, a more comfortable silence. 

_And right now,  
I wish I could follow you…_

They pulled into a parking lot and Ryan turned off the car as he found a spot next a 5 foot wall. They got out of the car and made their way up the wall and beyond them was a beach, a beautiful beach with the waves crashing into the sand. The lights from the boulevard seemed to light up the ocean in the darkness of the night. They sat down on the wall together and watched the waves. Ryan turned to her, watching her beautiful face and wondering how he would ever be able to live without her. He rested his face in the crook of her neck and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. "I missed you" he said quietly and she felt a tear come onto her cheek. 

"I missed you too… more than I can say" she said as she grabbed his hands in hers, entwining their fingers. "I love you" she said and he pulled his head out of her neck to gaze at her. He lifted her chin to look up at him and placed his thumb on her lips, outlining them and eventually pulling her face close into his as he kissed her lips softly. "I love you too" he said as they pulled apart. They got off the wall and back into Ryan's car, driving to a nice hotel down the street, and checked into a suite. 

They made love deep into the night; love making that was passionate and unbridled, fulfilling all their deprivations. By the time they had fallen asleep, the sky had lightened. Ryan lay on his back with Marissa on his chest, asleep quietly. He continued to watch her, almost as if he couldn't believe she was really there with them. He ran his fingers softly down her bare back, loving the feeling of her skin underneath his fingertips. 

_To the shores  
Of freedom…_

He watched as her eyes fluttered open and she turned to face him, a tired smile on her face, "what time is it?" she asked groggily. Ryan turned to the clock, "it's only five" he answered and she nodded tiredly, kissing his chest softly before placing her head back down and closing her eyes. Ryan pulled the blanket up further to cover her naked body, seeing a slight shiver go through her. He watched as she pulled the blankets around her and flipped over, turning her back to him unintentionally in her sleep. He wasted no time in molding his body to hers and wrapping his arm around her and pulling her back into his chest as his head moved to rest on her neckline. They weren't perfect… they both knew that, they had flaws… but the flaws seemed to make everything more special, like overcoming those obstacles just made it more extraordinary to be with each other in the end.

_Where no one lives._


End file.
